The Twilight Fun Blog

New Year, Final movie, & more Twilight fun!

2012-01-14T10:23:00.001-08:00

This is the year 2012, and in this year, we will see the epic conclusion to the Twilight Saga...

Emmett: Oh no! Say it ain't so!

Emmett, would you let me finish? Anyway, with the release of the Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn part 2, we can finally say goodbye to the movie part of our lives and move on to bigger and better things.

Emmett: Like that movie that we're making right now?

Emmett, that's enough! Anyway, plan on looking forward to getting the conclusion to the bachelor party, where after the party has ended, the boys discover the repercussions of what they had done at Edward's bachelor party! See you all soon!

Emmett: Hey, you can't do that! That's illegal! Jacquel, can you make them stop? (fade to black) Just because the screen fades to black doesn't mean that the show is over! Jacquel???

If Famous Writers Had Written Twilight…

2012-01-03T18:47:00.000-08:00

So what if someone else had written Twilight? click the link below to find out what Twilight would be like if it was written by another famous author.

Maybe you'll be grateful that Stephenie Meyer wrote the story after all.

If Famous Writers Had Written Twilight…:

'via Blog this'

entertainingyousince82: Well, that's weird.
machoman: I'll say.
iseeyourfuture: Emmett, did you change your username?
machoman: What? Ness changed hers a few months ago, so why can't I?
ultimate werewolf lover: I say these stories are whack.

The Twilight Christmas Movie Special

2011-12-25T11:30:00.000-08:00

(setting: Christmas Day at the Cullen house in Forks, Washington)

(we see everyone sitting in the living room when the wolves show up)

Everyone: Bring on the movie! Bring on the movie! Bring on the movie! Bring on the movie!

Jacquel: OK, guys, would you all just chillax? (she gets everything set up)

Jacob: And now, we present to you the La Push Show Christmas movie! (applause. movie begins)

---

On Christmas Night (the Wolves' music video, which pokes fun at Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night" song)

(in this movie, Leah plays the part of some girl named Kathie Tuttle and Jacquel plays herself. The wolves play various other characters. Kathie decides that rather than stay home and open her presents, she would rather have fun with her friends instead)

Parents: Merry Christmas, kids. Come see what Santa brought you.

Kids: Yay! (tear into Christmas gifts. Kathie ignores them)

Dad: That means you, too, Kathie.

Kathie: I rather not, thank you very much.

Mom: Don't you want to see what Santa brought you?

Kathie: You really think I care about that?

Dad: I thought you liked getting gifts from Santa.

Kathie: Yeah....that was when I was about...two? Now if you don't mind, I'm going out today!

Everyone: And do what?

Kathie: Hang out with Jacquel. Her family is so mature, they know better than to lie about that fraud. I'm out! (leaves the house)

(music begins)

Kathie: Everyone is getting to the living room to open presents and thank an imaginary man for giving it to them, / when I know exactly that it was mom and dad who spent their hard-earned money on ungrateful brats like them / but I know that I've got some fun things to do and opening presents isn't one of them / as you can see, I'm spending that day out all over the town, I'm gonna be living it up / because there's more to Christmas than silly toys, I just want to have some fun...on Christmas night, we went ice skating at the skating rink, made life miserable for those who don't celebrate / on Christmas night, we raided the theaters, saw all the movies, laughed at everything / on Christmas night, we went to the park and had the world's biggest snowball fight, / on Christmas night, we had the best night ever!

Jacquel: Kathie, you sure you want to do this?

Kathie: Well, your folks don't care about Santa and gifts and silly Christmas songs, and yet, you always manage to have a better Christmas than I do. How do you manage to put that off?

Jacquel: Well...hey, wait a minute, isn't that Hortense McCulmers?

Kathie: We ran around the whole town making merriness everything when suddenly the school bully dared to jump into our path. / I ran and hid in the Nativity scene that was at the church, and I bet that I would have evaded her completely when the pastor's wife came out and said, "Is that you?" / The bully stared at me, I didn't know what to do, but the lady smiled at her and said "Merry Christmas to you." / The bully stared at her, I hoped that she would kill us both on the spot, but I smiled and said, "Hope you've having a great day." / the old lady smiled at me and the bully scoffed and walked away...on Christmas night, we went ice skating at the skating rink, made life miserable for those who don't celebrate / on Christmas night, we raided the theaters, saw all the movies, laughed at everything / on Christmas night, we went to the park and had the world's biggest snowball fight, / on Christmas night, we had the best night ever!

Jacquel: Well, while dodging her was fun and all, my mom texted me and said that my grandma's here, so I need to be heading home.

Kathie: Yeah, me too. My folks won't like it, but you know, we still had fun...(music turns on) Well, after dodging that bully, I decided to head on home, turns out that I had enough fun for today / when I walked back to the house, it was 8 in the evening, and everyone was still playing with their toys and my parents were watching them / I walk through the door and they all turned to notice me, they still had their pajamas on, my parents stared at me in shock. / I said, "I'm off to bed now, don't wake me up until it's New Years Eve." After all that excitement, I'd surely like to have a good sleep.

Mom: Where have you been, Kathie? We've been waiting for you to open your gifts from Santa.

Kathie: Mom, we've been through this every year. I don't want to open my gifts from Santa because I know you and dad buy gifts for us and lie and say that it was Santa who makes the gifts. I'm not stupid.

Dad: How can you say stuff like that? This is the Christmas season, which mean that...

Kathie: I know what you're going to say and I'm not even going to reply to that. Now, Jacquel here refuses to believe in Santa and her parents always buy her her gifts. What do you say to that?

Mom: Jacquel doesn't believe in Santa? (to Jacquel) Were you deprived as a child?

Jacquel: Really? You want to assume that my parents are mean to me because I don't believe in Santa? Well, my parents raised my to believe in the real deal, which is Jesus Christ. So, I think you may have forgotten the reason why we celebrate Christmas.

Embry (as Reggie): Yeah, there's more to Christmas than Santa Claus giving you gifts.

Dad: Kathie, you have just earned yourself a week of no TV! And Since you think you're too good to open your presents, you will NOT be leaving your room until you've opened every one!

Kathie: Fine! And since you feel that way, maybe I'll go away next Christmas. Then you'll appreciate what I have to say. (goes to her room. music turns on) on Christmas night, we went ice skating at the skating rink, made life miserable for those who don't celebrate / on Christmas night, we raided the theaters, saw all the movies, laughed at everything / on Christmas night, we went to the park and had the world's biggest snowball fight, / on Christmas night, we had the best night ever...on Christmas night, we went ice skating at the skating rink, made life miserable for those who don't celebrate / on Christmas night, we raided the theaters, saw all the movies, laughed at everything / on Christmas night, we went to the park and had the world's biggest snowball fight, / on Christmas night, we had the best night ever!

(movie turns off. credits roll)

---

(applause)

Emmett: Well, I hate to be the wet blanket around here, but that was the dumbest music video that I have ever seen. And I know your videos.

Rosalie: Yeah. Who wants to hear about the adventures of some boring ugly girl at Christmas? I expected better from you stupid puppies.

Seth: You didn't like the movie? Awww...I feel so insulted!

Embry: Don't be upset; we'll hit her back later.

Stephenie Meyer: (shows up) Well, once again, you've managed to steal away a few hours of my life and this time, I didn't like your video.

All: WHAT???

Stephenie Meyer: And as punishment for the most boring video ever, I'm going to drastically reduce the time that you have on this video.

Edward: Well, that's just mean! I mean, I had just finished the remake of the Harry Potter song.

Bella: The one where he goes crazy and shoots up Hogwarts?

Stephenie Meyer: Oh no, NOT this again!

Edward: Well, since you're reducing our screen time, I'm going to be playing this song during the credits. So there!

(credits roll. song plays)

The Night Harry Potter Went Crazy (to the tune of Weird Al’s “The Night Santa Went Crazy”) The Violent Ending Edition

Down in old Hogwarts, all the wizards were mocking, / All the good Christian girls and the good Christian boys. / When the Boy-Who-Lived busted in, nearly scared ‘em half to death, Had a .22 in his hands and firewhiskey on his breath. / From his glasses to his shoes he was covered with ammo, / Looking like the wizard’s version of the great Rambo. / And he smiled at everyone as he began to laugh, / “Happy Christmas to all---now you’re all gonna DIE!”

The night Harry Potter went crazy, / The night the boy wizard went insane! / Realized he’d been getting a raw deal, / Something finally must have snapped in his brain!

Well, Hogwarts is gone now, he decided to bomb it / Everywhere you’ll find pieces of what once had been Hagrid. / And he tied up the Gryffindors and he held the Slytherins hostage, / And he ground up poor Remus Lupin into werewolf sausage. / He got Ron and Hermione with a World War 2 rifle, / And he slashed up Old Dumbledore just like Jigsaw. / And he picked up a blowtorch and he barbecued Hedwig. / And he took a big bite and said, “WOW! It tastes just like chicken!”

The night Harry Potter when crazy, / The night the Boy-Who-Lived went nuts. / Now there’s no way you can walk around England / Without steppin’ in wizard guts!

There's the Royal Army and the CIA / There are reporters from CNN and scores of eyewitnesses everywhere/ And as the spells are flying, many wizards are dying / and the world wants to know why Harry why / my my my my my my / Harry Potter used to be a good guy...(cue scenes from disaster)

Yes, Albus-Severus, now your daddy’s dead / Cedric Diggory came back to life and shot him in his head. / it's very true, he's lying dead on the floor / Now the world won't be reading Harry Potter books anymore. / So now the fans are crying because the story has been canceled, / And the bookstores have several empty bookshelves. / And as for J.K. Rowling, they say that she's on the phone every night, / she and her lawyer are discussing the movie rights!

It’ll be about…the night Harry Potter when crazy. / The night the boy wizard flipped. / all he wanted was a normal life, / Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin’ tricked. / Wo, the night Harry Potter went crazy. / The night the Boy-Who-Lived went insane, / he simply went downhill since “Deathly Hallows” / Something finally must have snapped in his brain. / Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain! / Tell ya, something must have snapped…in his brain!

Jacquel: All I can say is Merry Christmas and hopefully you day went better than mine.

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The La Push Wolves Do TV (a trailer)

2011-12-20T11:16:00.000-08:00

(note: This trailer has been deemed safe for general viewing.)

Coming soon to a blog near you...

There's no doubt that the state of TV is terrible, with reality shows crowding out good old-fashioned TV comedy.

One group seeks to correct that...or at least make it funny!

So join Jacquel, Seth, Embry, Jacob, and the other wolves as they try to save the world from reality and bring the fun back to television!

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The True History of the Cullen Family, Chapter 15

2011-12-19T07:47:00.000-08:00

Runaway Love

Jasper was beginning to wish that he was anywhere but with the Volturi.

He was tired of having to deal with them and their nonsense. And besides, why would he want to put up with them when he had a pet to play with.

Jasper made his way to his room, where Jacquelyn and the snakes were. Both Gus and Minerva were asleep in their baskets and Jacquelyn was sitting in a tub filled with cold water. She was not feeling well and she needed to cool down before she got sick.

Jasper saw her sitting in the tub and said, "Are you not feeling well?"

"No," she said. She shifted herself so that she was facing him. "Why are you with them?" she asked.

Jasper paused; no one had asked him that question before. Sure he had no where to go when the Volturi executed Maria for causing undue trouble in the south, but he knew that he should have gone with Peter and Charlotte when he had the chance to. But when Chelsea persuaded him to come with her and join the Volturi, Jasper knew better than to refuse.

He frowned and stood up, scooping Jacquelyn out of the tub. "You're gonna be catching your death if you sit in there too long," he said as he wrapped the girl in a towel and carried her to the room. Minerva almost woke up upon hearing the noises, but then she relaxed and went back to sleep. Jasper set her on the bed and frowned, not knowing what he should be doing next.

It wasn't that Jasper didn't have any female admirers, but most of them knew better than to get too close to him. Maria had killed any other woman (both human and vampire) who had made the mistake of getting too close to Jasper. But surely he was not one to take advantage of this poor little girl who was in his room; he knew that some vampires had raped and tortured many young women who they lured away from the safety of their homes.

Jasper lifted the towel from Jacquelyn's body. She gripped his hand and said, "No." He stared at her in confusion. "No," she whimpered again.

"I will not hurt you," he said as he watched tears fall from her eyes. Had she been abused? Did anyone harm her? He would find out and then deliver the Volturi's justice to that horrible monster. "Did anyone hurt you?" he asked.

"No," she whispered.

Jasper slipped off his Volturi robes and sat beside Jacquelyn. She grew frightened and curled up away from him. "No," she said. Jasper reached out to take the girl's hand. "You are safe here," he said gently but firmly. "No one is going to hurt you. Please..."

Jacquelyn stared at him for a few moments. How can someone like him---a vampire---possibly keep her safe from harm? Especially since vampires have killed millions of humans over the centuries? She did not understand.

Jasper sighed and reached over to her, saying, "Do not be afraid." Jacquelyn nodded and began crying gently. He stripped down to nothing and held her to him. Jacquelyn frowned, knowing what was going to happen. But was she ready for it?

Jasper said, "Please don't be sad." Jacquelyn nodded and curled up beside him. Would Jasper Whitlock, former Confederate Major from Texas and Guard of the Volturi, be the one to take away her pain?

-----

The Annoying Nomads (James, Laurent, and Victoria) were now somewhere next to Naples. All day and night, they had to listen to humans complaining about the red sky. The sky was so red that it could be seen at night as well as during the day. Many people suspected everything from aliens to the return of Jesus Christ as the reasons why the sky was red.

Laurent said, "I don't know what the people are saying, but I don't like it. They are too full of fear."

Victoria said, "I heard some old woman say that the dead are coming back to life. I hope that doesn't mean that our meals are coming back to haunt us."

"Possibly not," said James. "The sky smells like blood. I'm not sure if we have to feed from humans as much as we usually do."

Just then, a scream was heard. A man was lying dead in the streets of Naples, with some strange symbol on his neck. "Not aliens and not zombies," Victoria said out loud.

"Then what is it?" another man cried out.

"Werewolves," said Laurent as he showed everyone the deep bloody scratches that ran down the victim's back.

Victoria said, "But I thought all the werewolves were dead! Extinct! Everyone knows that the Volturi wiped them out over 4 centuries ago!"

"Actually, that would be the work of Lord Caius," a vampire said, drawing everyone's attention. "After being attacked by a werewolf during an mission trip in the 1200's, Lord Caius set off with an army and marched upon their holdings, where they destroyed the werewolves in their human forms. But some had dared to survive and for countless centuries, they hid among us, plotting their revenge."

"Who are you?" James rudely addressed the vampire.

"My name is Dante Frost," said Dante, "and I'm here to warn you all: he or she who was involved in a murder that was committed out of selfishness will soon meet their deaths at the claws of the wolf."

He stood up and said, "I am going to Volterra to confer with Lord Aro regarding the murder of a man who could have improved life for both humans and vampires alike. Do you wish to share in my quest?"

James frowned, but Laurent said, "We would be happy to. In fact, we were just going there ourselves."

Dante said, "Then we shall depart immediately."

James frowned as he, Laurent, and Victoria walked off with the strange vampire. No one knew that they too were about to be involved in a very dangerous battle...

-----

Jasper slid out of bed, heaving. He knew that it had been years since he had actually enjoyed sex, knowing that it was only with Maria that he had had these intimate encounters. Maria would never let another woman go near him at all.

He frowned as he looked at his human pet, who had fallen asleep shortly after their tumble. She was a virgin, that he knew. Or she was, until a few hours ago. Jasper wondered if instead of comforting her, as he had wished to do, he had actually made things even worse for her.

Just then, Heidi came to the room. She had not seen Jasper lately and she had not seen Jacquelyn since the day that she brought the girl to the Volturi to be Jasper's pet.

She said to Jasper, "Aro did not see you at the meeting yesterday. Where have you been?"

Jasper said to her, "You do know that I have a pet, right?"

Heidi took a look at the sleeping Jacquelyn and said, "Please tell me that you didn't eat her; you do know that with your tastes, girls like her are very hard to find."

Jasper snapped, "I do know how to control myself, thank you very much, but I also prefer my light snacks. If you have a problem with me spending time with my little pet, as much as you go around seducing mortal boys during your time out of the castle..."

Heidi glared at him and Aro walked into the room, saying, "I see that Jasper likes his little pet. But I believe that he has yet to know of the problem that is plaguing us. The Romanians could be using the red sky to launch their attacks upon us. There would be untold amounts of human casualties. We need to put an end to them and quickly."

"We should," said Jasper. "The Romanians could be gathering allies even as we speak. I believe that they will attack us on St. Marcus's Feast Day."

"A repeat of the feat that is for the ages," said Aro. "Our own loyal human followers are in danger. You, Jasper, have the power to save us all."

Heidi said, "Are you saying that Jasper could...you know...use his powers to stop that army from reaching us?"

"How else did we find him?" Aro smiled. He took a look at Jacquelyn and said, "And we would like for her to join us, once she recovers from her devastating illness."

He and Heidi left the room and Jasper stood up. He needed to feed. He walked away from the bed, knowing that Jacquelyn would not wake up until evening. He needed to think of a strategy in order to stop the Romanians and their supporters. He would have to become "Major Jasper Whitlock" again.

Jacquelyn stirred a little, then fell back asleep. Jasper stared at her once more before leaving the room.

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Jacquel, You're OLD!!!

2011-12-10T09:07:00.000-08:00

Me: Well, it's my birthday today, so I'm gonna be living it up!

Sam: But what about us?

Me: I know what you want, Sam, and guess what? It's not gonna happen!

Sam: Awww, no fair! How come you get to have a sex scene with Jasper in one of your stories and we can't do it at all in real life?

Me: Because you're a bunch of horny wolves and #2, I'm not sure if Carlisle is going to like it if he finds out that you want to have sex with me.

Carlisle: Because I don't! Now, Sam, unless you want me to pull the plug on her being on your show, I suggest that you better keep things between you and her professional.

Paul: Awww...but that's no fun! It's her birthday, she can do whatever she wants!

Jared: Only for 24 hours.

Paul: She needs to be with us and not you.

Sam: You Cullens keep cramping our style.

Paul: And besides, it's just one day...what could possibly go wrong?

Jacob: EVERYTHING! Such as Renesmee finding out and killing me even more, or those idiots who dared to put those videos of us and her making out all over the Internet.

Quil: Those videos almost ruined my reputation.

Embry: Not to mention that I've got scores of uncles and aunts on the Makah reservation who saw that and nearly swooned.

Jacob: My father threatened to sue the people who owned the website unless they were taken down.

Carlisle: And that's why I won't allow you and her to do any making out! Jacquelyn Claire is a respectable member of the Cullen family and you will NOT be ruining her reputation with your antics at all!

Jacob: Why you gotta be all mean to us? We're just gonna take her out for the day.

Seth: And besides, it's not all make-out; we're just gonna stay home and watch movies. If that's OK with Emmett here...

Emmett: Sure! If the movies that they watch are going to be superhero movies!

Rosalie: I hate superhero movies!

Me: Well, too bad because you're going to be watching them today! In fact, EVERYONE'S going to be watching superhero movies today! (everyone cheers)

Rosalie: Well, I'm out! Come back when you all decide to be mature! (she leaves)

Me: OK, since she wants to be like that, then I say let her. But we're gonna have some fun today! (pulls out DVDs) We'll start off with Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, then Thor, then X-Men: First Class, Transformers: Dark of the Moon...

Jasper: Wasn't it supposed to be "Dark Side of the Moon"?

Seth: Yeah, but Pink Floyd threatened to sue Michael Bay unless he changed the title of the movie. Plus since Megan Fox isn't in this one, I'm not sure if I want to watch it.

Me: And last but not least, we finish off with Captain America...

Emmett: Oh heck yeah! Captain America rocks!!!

Me: Thank you very much, Emmett; I'm sure they already know that. Any questions?

All: GET ON WITH THE MOVIES!!!

Me: OK then! (sets up DVD. everyone takes their seats in the lving room and I turn the TV on)

----------

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Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011)

2011-11-30T07:47:00.000-08:00

Image via Wikipedia

Name of Movie: Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011)

Director: Bill Condon

Year Released: 2011

Summary: Bella Swan and Edward Cullen are now a happily married couple, but things get complicated when a certain little event happens to them...PARENTHOOD!!! And not only that, Bella's friend Jacob Black decides to stand up for her and takes charge of his own life and destiny. Meanwhile tentions between the Cullens and Quileutes are just the icing on the cake.

My review: Excellent movie!!! But you'll have to wait until next year to finish the rest.

My recommendation: For Twilight fans everywhere; plus I recommend that you stay after the movie ends to catch a bonus scene.

My rating: *****

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The I Got Twilighted Bachelor Party

2011-11-18T15:00:00.000-08:00

Since Breaking Dawn part 1 the movie is in theaters today (I saw it, I loved it!) I figure I'd do a couple of Twilight-related fics just to show how much I love the Twilight series. So, here we go!

---------

(The story takes places about a week before Edward and Bella's wedding. Only Edward isn't about to have a bachelor party.)

Edward: But I don't want to have a bachelor party!

Emmett: Sure you do, Ed. bachelor parties are fun!

Edward: Easy for you to say, Emmett. You just want to act wild and have fun.

Jasper: That's your problem, Edward. You never like to have fun. You're way too serious.

Edward: How do you know, Jasper?

Jasper: I see you and I feel the non-fun vibes rolling off your shoulders. You need to cut loose.

Emmett: Remember, it's your last week as a free man!

Edward: Emmett, grow up. I've been thinking and now I don't want to have a bachelor party.

Emmett: C'mon, Ed, you're no fun! And besides, the best man throws the bachelor party! And since I'm the best man, I throw the party.

Jasper: And we invited some friends. Now get your coat on, we're going! (just then, Sam, Paul, and Jared show up)

Emmett: Hey guys, glad to see you here! Ready to go?

Paul: Go where?

Emmett: Edward's bachelor party, of course!

Sam: Since when do vampires have bachelor parties?

Jared: Do they really?

Paul: Bachelor parties are for those who are celebrating the end of their single life. Edward will no longer be single, so they're planning a party for him.

Sam: What? You think Edward's gonna get drunk and make out with random girls?

Edward: NO! I will NOT be getting drunk and making out with random girls! I love Bella and no other girl! (hisses at Sam)

Sam: OK, dude, chillax. It was only a suggestion.

Jared: Let's go to a club. A club for all single men who are getting married in about a week.

Emmett: Good idea. Let's all get drunk and humiliate poor straight-laced Edward! He'll never see it coming!

------

(at Charlie's house)

Charlie: A bachelor party?

Emmett: Yup. Edward needs our help to loosen him up. He's too uptight.

Charlie: Are you sure?

Emmett: Of course. Why don't you bring your friend in a wheelchair, get him out of the house.

Charlie: Well...

Emmett: He's backing out! Jasper, let's grab him! (he and Jasper grab Charlie and Billy and bring them to the jeep) Let's go!

------

(at a club)

Charlie: Do your parents know that you are out at night?

Emmett: Please? We're well behaved. We don't cause no trouble!

Edward: You do, Emmett.

Emmett: And besides, since we're vampires, we can live it up all we want and not worry about the consequences!

Billy: For once, I'm glad Bella's not marrying you. You're too goofy.

Jasper: What's wrong with being goofy?

Emmett: I'm not being goofy, I'm just Emmett.

Sam: Yeah. Emmett, the great overgrown 5-year-old.

Paul: Sam...

Sam: Oh come on, Paul! We gotta cut loose! Since there's no vampires around here except for the Cullens, we've earned the right to live it up for a little while!

Jared: And besides, we need to show Edward how to have fun. He's too serious.

Paul: As in "why so serious?"

Edward: Not funny.

--------

(at this point, everyone is almost drunk)

Charlie: Word of advice, Edward: don't let Bella get away from you. I made the same mistake with her mother, so don't you dare let Bella go for a second. Chase after her and beg her to come home.

Edward: Is he drunk?

Emmett: We're all drunk! It's a party, so of course we're getting drunk! Isn't it fun?

Edward: No.

Billy: I've got some advice for you, Edward: never cheat on Bella, for it will break her heart. I made the same mistake with my wife, and I paid for it with her death. So whatever you do, stay true to her, OK?

Sam: Well, this is kind of odd. I guess I'm going to log that away until later.

Paul: You mean blackmail?

Jared: Word of advice, Edward: don't be afraid to cut loose every once in a while. And I don't mean just hunting or whatever it is that you vampires do...(James and Laurent show up)

Emmett: Hey, didn't we just get rid of you guys in the last story?

James: You can't get rid of us! We are the Nomads!

Paul: Don't you mean the Annoying Nomads?

James: We are NOT annoying.

Laurent: In fact, we are normal.

Jared: If you're normal, then prove it!

Laurent: Very well. Let us call for some sexy dances and make them dance for Edward.

Edward: NO! I will NOT be entertained by any other women! Can't you stupid Nomads take a hint?

James: Edward, Edward, Edward, you have to loosen up. You're so uptight.

Laurent: Yes, Edward. Cut loose, just like that guy over there...(the group turns and sees Billy dancing around before a group of young girls)

Edward: NO! Tell me you did NOT just tell him to go perform for those girls! (rushes off to stop Billy)

-----

Charlie: Where's Billy?

Emmett: There...(points to Billy, who is arguing with Edward)

Charlie: Better go find him...(leaves the table)

Paul: Stupid annoying nomads...don't they have anyone else to bother?

-----

Edward: Why are you degrading yourself for the pleasure of these young girls?

Billy: Come on, Edward, they all assumed that I was one of the dancers and they asked me to dance for them. What's so bad about that?

Edward: How's about I flip you out of your wheelchair! Would they like that? (chases after Billy)

Billy: Oh no! Help! Help me, Charlie! Help! (Charlie shows up)

Julia: Oh great! A cop is here!

Sabrina: And he's a real cop too!

Charlie: Well, someone called for help. I'm just simply doing my job. That is helping people. (catches Billy and Edward) Now what seems to be the problem?

Edward: Your friend here chose to degrade himself...

Billy: I was just performing for these young ladies here and he starts wailing about "morals and righteousness"...

Charlie: Any of you young ladies care to describe to me what happened?

Roxanne: Well, our previous dancer was kicked out the club for being too "ugly", so at the last minute, he shows up.

Charlie: Right. Now, which one of you is getting married?

Jacquel: Me.

Sam: How old are you?

Jacquel: Do you seriously have to ask?

Julia: Forgive her, she's been a huge knot of nerves since her engagement and also, we're all kind of pissed because our friend Hermione bailed on us at the last minute.

Billy: Your friend sucks. What kind of friend bails on you at your bachelorette party?

Edward: We need to get going now.

Charlie: Why? (they see Emmett being surrounded by sexy dancers)

Edward: Rosalie is going to kill him! (rushes back to their table)

Sam: This is turning out to be a fun night, am I right?

-----

Edward: Emmett, what the hell is wrong with you? Have you forgotten about Rosalie?

Emmett: Oh, Edward, loosen up! And besides, we can just pretend that I'm not married to Rosalie for just one evening, right?

Jasper: And besides, Rosalie would kill any woman who dares speak to Emmett.

Edward: But still...

Emmett: I love Rose, but I would like it if I could just get a break from her every once in a while. When you get to be married, you'll understand what I mean.

Edward: I can hear it in your thoughts...(just then, they notice Billy on the microphone)

Billy: Yup, that's him, that's Edward Cullen. He's marrying my friend Charlie's daughter...

Paul: Crap! We gotta stop him before he airs out our dirty laundry! (he and Jared rush up to the stage, grab Billy, and take off toward the exit)

Sam: We have to go now! (the others take off as well)

----

Jacquel: You know what? I'm now beginning to have second thoughts about marrying Callie.

Sabrina: Good for you.

Julia: He doesn't seem to care about you anyway.

Roxanne: There's got to be another way for you to get on the fast track instead of marrying Callie.

Jacquel: I wish. Now let's get out of here; I'm starving and I want to eat right now. (they leave the club)

-----

Edward: (driving the jeep) This is bad, real bad. Stupid nomads...

Emmett: You mean stupid Annoying Nomads.

Jasper: Who do they think they are, crashing our party like that? We should give them what for!

Paul: I agree! Let's tear them apart!

Jared: Not while there's people around. And besides, we still have the night to ourselves, so let's live it up!

Edward: You can live it up all you want, but I'm going home.

Emmett: Not tonight! Tonight, you're in the city!

Edward: Oh why me?

to be continued...

=====

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2011-11-06T14:10:00.001-08:00

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The True History of the Cullen Family, Chapter 14

2011-11-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

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Red Skies at Night

Camille Von Meliskold's life had not been the same since the day that Carlisle Cullen died.

She had gone to Germany and lived there since the botched trial; the judge and mayor had put a huge bounty on her head for killing Carlisle and causing his father to die of grief. Elizabeth Hamilton, her rival (and the woman who should have married Carlisle) married a son of Dagbert Trublood and they had several children. Camille had nearly succeeded in destroying her, had that foolish Englishman not betrayed HER at the courthouse.

She sat by the door listening for the sounds that would end her hours of loneliness and pain. That would be Caroline Von Meliskold, who would be on her way home from school.

After hiding from authorities at her grandmother's house for several years, Camille married a sorcerer named Leopold Darkmoon and had her daughter, Caroline. She also bargained for immortality so that she could continue living even after everyone in her time period was dead.

Caroline walked into the house. Camille ignored her only daughter as she walked by, preferring to devise ways of returning to England without anyone figuring out her crimes. There was still the bounty that was on her head and there were rumors about the murder of Carlisle Cullen that survived 3 centuries after his death. Camille had been a great beauty in her time, with a waterfall of chestnut hair and eyes of scintillating forest-green. She had been blessed with nearly pure white skin, dainty feet, flawless skin, and the ability to charm anyone into doing whatever she wished. Caroline, however, was not so lucky; not with her frizzy blonde hair and blue eyes, her rodent-like face, her large hooked nose, her overlarge ears, and her brutish personality.

Camille knew it was trouble when Caroline had questioned her about why they were living in Germany. For many years, Caroline had wondered why she wasn't beautiful like the other girls and why she never exactly aged like everyone else. Camille said to her, "They did not want us living in England; they had sided with the woman who killed my true love in cold blood and got away with it." She neglected to tell Caroline that SHE had caused Carlisle’s death and tried to frame Elizabeth, but that failed when she was forced to flee from her home in England. Camille refused to tell Caroline that she looked almost like her former rival as well.

She stood up and walked to the window of their huge castle. Once again, Camille was searching for a sign that signaled that it was safe for her to return to England. For many years, Camille had grown bored with living in Darkmoon castle; she had no other children with her but Caroline; Leopold refused to let her have any other children after Caroline’s birth nearly 300 years earlier. He also had no interest in fatherhood, preferring to keep to his alchemy lab. He had agreed to marry Camille as long as she stayed inside the castle.

Just then, the sky turned red. A red sky was not a good thing, as that meant danger. Camille noticed that there were no moon, stars, or even clouds to block the red sky. That was a sure sign that danger was coming.

There would be no returning to England for her.

-----

Aro noticed the red sky and said, "This is not good. Did you know that under a red sky, the dead crawl from their graves and torture the living?"

"Indeed," said Marcus. "Those who died before their time are returning to bring pain to us all."

Caius frowned, saying, "It is only for those damned superstitious mortals; not that we care about any of this. Why should we? We’re vampires, we're immortal, we're above humans! I’m not worried about that at all!"

Aro said, "Or what if this is a sign that something isn't right and we need to fix it before we are all destroyed?"

"Maybe," said Marcus as he left the throne room.

-----

Sam found himself looking at the red sky. "This is bad," he said.

"Will the dead show up like they do in those movies?" Paul asked.

"I don't know," said Sam, "but what I do know is that something is going to happen. What it is, I don't know."

Old Quil said, "The dead, they rise up and torture us! It is those who died before their time that return to taunt those who outlived them. We will see that happen."

Sam nodded, and then said, "Still no word on Billy and Emily?"

"No," said the old man, "but take heart; neither are badly hurt. But our ancestor is still angry and he demands something from us. Something that should have happen that did not happen. That is what Taha Aki seeks."

Paul frowned, wondering why their greatest ancestor was seeking something that was not there. But then again, something needed to be done to save their tribe; they might not survive past the red skies.

Also, some lives were at stake.

-----

Jacquelyn and the snakes were fast asleep in Jasper's room, not knowing that the skies above Volterra had turned red and the air was fraught with the smell of blood. Jacquelyn was still trying to recover from her ordeal and with her trying to help Gus and Minerva, she could not be bothered with the sky changing color at all.

But she would be the one to get what she truly wanted, if she looked past the red sky.

-----

Camille frowned as she searched the skies, but so far, nothing had changed. She began to wonder what it would have been like had Carlisle lived and she married him. There would have been no need to hide in a sorcerer's castle in the woods. She would have gotten rid of Elizabeth for good. She would have gotten the family she had desired rather than the family that she had now.

Just then, the smoke coming over the horizon was spotted. The time had come for judgment and changes…

-----

(We just can't have a Twilight fanfic without the Annoying Nomads, or can we?)

James, Laurent, and Victoria were in the streets of Venice, Italy, having eaten several hours before. They were not too concerned with the red skies, only about having fun and causing trouble for the poor humans.

Laurent said, "Maybe we should head to the next town; there's scores of humans there who won't be missed if they were to disappear."

"I agree," said Victoria. "We need a challenge."

James said, "I say we head off to Volterra; there's lots of people for us to eat there."

So as all three (annoying) nomads made their way to Volterra, they had no idea that their lives were about to be changed forever…

The True History of the Cullen Family, Chapter 13

2011-11-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

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The Madness of Life

Billy and Emily's lives hung in the balance.

Sam and the others freaked out when they found out that Taha Aki discovered what they did to Leah and he decided to punish them for it. They did not know what to do with Leah at all.

Old Quil said, "Well, if you hadn't kicked her out, then none of this would be happening! Their blood is on your hands!"

He didn't stop, but continued to scold everyone in the waiting room until Quil jr. stood up and said, "I'll get him home; it's 5:00 and he becomes cranky at 5:00. Keep me posted, ok?"

"Very well," Sam frowned as he watched Quil and his grandfather leave. He knew that it was time for an overdue assessment of himself. Leah was still angry with him, and he had turned their children and everyone else against her.

For once in his life, Sam Uley was unsure of himself.

=====

Jasper frowned as he stood in his place beside Aro. He was wishing that he could be anywhere but the throne room. Aro had called for a meeting with the guards to discuss the future of their world.

"Something is missing," said Aro as he stared at the guards, "but I don't know what it is."

"Why do you suggest this?" said Alec. "There's nothing wrong here."

"I do know that there are bad things that are happening. The world has been thrown out of balance. There is great suffering in the streets. Children have no food or home or hope, and many of them die due to various abuses and whatnot."

"I believe that we should go back to our roots," said Caius. "Once we were the feared monsters of the night. Now we've been turned into something of a laughingstock. I despise any human who dares make fun of me!"

"So let us go back to our old ways, when we ate only the poorest of humans," said Marcus. "They won't be missed at all. We have the largest coven in the vampire world and who would care if a poor person went missing?"

"I don't like that idea, but we happen to have over 300 members here," said Aro, "and not everyone wishes to drink those who have been bad. So once a week, or however often you feed, please bring back any human who exhibits any vampire-like behavior. I will have them turned at once."

"What of the children?" asked Jane.

"We do not create any immortal child, but in case said child displays such tendencies, we shall send them to the wives," said Aro.

Jasper frowned as he headed back to his room. He could not believe that Aro had suggested that they revert to their earlier primitive vampire ways. But on one hand, it would curb the world population some, but then again, it reminded him of his wasted years with Maria.

He reached his rooms and saw Jacquelyn speaking to the snakes. All three seemed to be discussing something rather important, or they would have seen him.

Jasper sat in a chair and thought about what he would do next. He wasn't about to just eat humans randomly like everyone else; his talent of reading/manipulating emotions would not allow him to do that. But a vampire had to feed.

And if he had to find an alternative to humans, so be it.

The Twilight Vampire Diaries Crossover chapter 4

2011-11-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

Katherine, meanwhile, laughed as she escaped from that rainy town. Why on earth would anyone in their right mind name a town Forks? she thought to herself as she sat on the bus, hoping to put some distance between herself and that town.

And hopefully, a dead Elena Gilbert.

Who was she fooling, Katherine thought to herself again. That little popular bitch thought she could take my Stefan away from me. And to even have Damon lusting after her? No. Elena Gilbert deserved to die.

But then she thought about what would happen if anyone were to find out about this. What would Stefan do if he found out that Katherine was behind the reason why Elena was gone? What about Damon? She knew that they could be violent at various times, but even then, they were still in control. But if they ever found out about Elena, then Katherine was dead.

She needed to get help immediately.

------

"Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!" Alice screamed in anger as she walked into the house.

Clothes were strewn everywhere, the still-smashed piano sat in a corner of the room, and most of the pantry was emptied. Bella could not have done that, she thought to herself as she surveyed the mess.

If Esme came home and saw this, then she would surely ground them all for life. And being a vampire, that would mean endless torture.

Alice calmed down and said, "We really need to clean up this place before they get home."

Edward said, "And we better hurry; they'll be here at midnight."

They quickly ran around the house picking up empty coke cans and pizza crusts and vacuuming the floors. Within an hour and a half, the entire house was clean.

"Now who would throw a party and not know that we live here?" Alice said to Charlie.

Charlie said,'"Perhaps it was those kids from the reservation. They apparently thought that they could sneak into your house and destroy it, those little rascals..."

"Is that all we were?" Jacob said as he walked into the room.

"Well," said Charlie, "you did invade someone's property without their knowledge nor consent."

"OK OK, I admit it, I admit it!" Jacob cried out.

"indeed," said Edward. "Now, next time you want to throw a party..."

"You will be wise and ask me first," said Alice.

"Yeah, yeah," said Jacob as he walked out the door.

---------

When they reached a place in the woods, Laurent said to Victoria, "Now why did you come? I was handling this very well..."

"But who was that brown haired bitch?" Victoria yelled, cutting Laurent off.

"What brown-haired bitch?" Laurent replied.

"The brown haired bitch who dared to shove me," Victoria shot back. "I have half a mind to tear her to pieces and half a mind to keep going after Bella. Which is it, Laurie?"

Laurent said, "I say we not waste time; Bella cannot always be guarded. Whenever she's alone, we attack."

Victoria said, "But that vampire, I mean bitch-pire, might be around, waiting to strike while we chase after Bella. I say we go after her first."

"Well, she did attack a girl who looked like Bella," said Laurent, "And since we saw the attack, I say we help protect Bella in case she decides to come back."

"One at a time," Victoria smiled at him. "We need to figure out how best to get to Bella. Now that we know...what we know, I'm sure the Cullens would like to find out the truth behind why the other girl was attacked."

Little did they know that a pair of wolf eyes was watching them...

The Twilight Vampire Diaries Part 3

2011-11-01T14:42:00.000-07:00

Edward saw Alice wrestling Laurent to the ground. He rushed to the other vampire and grabbed him by the throat, snarling, "If I ever found out that you have been hurting Bella, I will not hesitate to kill you right here and right now!"

The other vampire said, "I have never even hurt Bella at all. Why do you accuse me of that?"

"Maybe because your friend decided to kill Bella," said Edward. "He thought attacking Bella was all a game to him. Well, it's not. Bella is worth everything to me!"

Laurent laughed and said, "And if Bella meant so much to you, then why did you abandon her?"

Edward cringed. "I just wanted to give her a normal life; a life away from the dangers of our world."

"Well, you can't do that," said Victoria as she walked into the room. "Don't you know that everything about vampires seems to draw humans in? Now let Laurent go."

Bella stood next to Alice and Alice said, "I thought you were dead."

Victoria said, "You must explain to me why you are unhurt."

Edward said, "I don’t believe that you have any right to be asking any questions right now. Now leave before I throw you to the wolves."

Little did they know that Charlie was in the room and that he had just overheard everything. "What is going on here?" he asked.

"I believe that you must answer us this question," said Laurent. "Do you know this girl?"

"Who? Bella?" said Charlie. "She's my daughter. Why do you ask?"

"She took someone away from me," said Victoria. "She took James away from me."

Bella snapped. "In my defense, he was trying to kill me first."

Victoria shot her a hard look before saying, "And why were you still alive when you should be dead?"

Bella said, "Because unlike you, I know how to treat the people I love."

Victoria shot her another hard look before storming off. Edward let Laurent go and he too walked off, giving them all an angry look. Edward said to Bella, "Did you hear everything that I was saying?"

"Every word," said Bella. "And for the record, I wasn't really hurt to begin with."

"I'm so happy you're ok!" Edward said as he and Bella hugged. Alice cleared her throat. "I'm still here!" she shouted.

Charlie looked at them and said, "I'll give you some space." He walked out the room and Alice said to Bella, "Bella, why are you not hurt?"

"Edward told me to stay safe," said Bella. "That meant that I was smart enough to get out of the truck before it was crushed."

"Bella, who was that vampire?" Alice asked again.

"I don't know; I never saw her before," said Bella. "She pushed a girl into my truck. I don't even know if the girl is alive or dead."

Edward frowned, wishing that he could read Bella's mind. He would know which girl she was talking about.

-------------

Speaking of Elena, she woke up in a strange room. She had no idea of who she was, nor would she remember the events that brought her to this strange town.

In short, she had lost her memory.

------------------

Dr. Carlisle Cullen was in the hall being fawned upon by the hospital staff and being begged to come back to work in Forks once again. Charlie approached him and said, "I think were in need of your assistance."

"Why?" asked Carlisle.

"We have a young woman here and we have no idea of who she is or where she came from," said Charlie. "So if I'm being rude to ask you to take care of her..."

"No you're not," said Carlisle. "We would love to. But there is the manner of Bella’s situation for us to deal with. We've been gone for five months and she has gotten hurt. We are back to correct this."

"Good," said Charlie. He then asked, "And about that strange twosome..."

"I'm sure that Emmett would gladly have a good fight with them," said Alice as she showed up. "Now I want to get home and make sure that no one has damaged the house while we were gone."

"Well, except for a party that was thrown there without my knowledge nor consent, everything appears to be intact," said Charlie. Alice stared at him for a hard moment.

"WHAT PARTY???"

-----------------

Elena gasped as she sat up in bed. Katherine was gone, hopefully never to bother her again. But who was Katherine, she thought to herself. Why can't I remember her? Why can't I remember anything??? Who am I?

She saw a man with gold eyes and blond hair walk into the room. A younger girl with spiky black hair and gold eyes bounced after him. Another man with brown hair and gold eyes stood at the door.

Gold eyes? Elena thought to herself. Am I in heaven? No, wait! I'm in some rainy town somewhere in the northwest.

The blond man said, "Are you hurt? What is your name? Where are you from?”

Elena gasped in horror as the reality of the situation hit her.

She had lost her memory.

The Twilight Vampire Diaries Part 2

2011-10-31T14:34:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Bella woke up in the hospital. She was sure that she had seen Edward Cullen as she fainted. A vampire stood over her bed. "Edward?" she cried out. "Is that you?"

Just then, the vampire stared at her. "Laurent," he said.

Bella gasped in shock; she had no idea that Laurent was in Forks. "I thought you were still in Alaska!" she cried out.

"Oh, but I was," said Laurent. "The girls there all loved me. Especially Irina. But I'm here as a favor for Victoria." He smiled as he stared at Bella.

"What?" Bella cried out.

"Victoria wants me to get rid of you," said Laurent. "A mate for a mate. Your Edward killed her James, so it's only fair that you die in return."

Bella cried out, "Why would you take orders from her? She's just a sadistically cruel witch who tells people what to do and doesn't do anything herself!"

Laurent clamped Bella's hand and said, "Calm down, Bella. You don't want your death to be stressful, right?"

"My life is already stressful enough without having death being thrown into the mix," said Bella.

Laurent was unmoved. "I see," he said. "But now you have put me in a quandary. Will I let you live or will I force you to die?"

"Oh, you better let her live..." an angry voice cut into the room.

Bella couldn't be happier to see an angry Alice Cullen standing in the doorway to her room. Alice said to Laurent, "You have five seconds to explain yourself or I'll tear you into pieces!"

------------------

Edward, meanwhile, was in another room. One with a young girl in it. The doctors gathered around her bed, all talking about her injuries. She had many cuts and bruises, a broken leg, and a sprained wrist.

But that wasn't the worst of her injuries.

Edward cried out, "Oh what have I done? I leave you and you get hurt." Charlie stood in the doorway, overhearing everything that Edward was saying. Edward continued, "I'm so so sorry, Bella! I love you!"

Charlie said to him, "That's not Bella."

Edward cried out, "Please don't try to make me feel better! Bella is dead because of me!"

Charlie said, "Bella is over there..."

They both turned and saw Bella trying to get Alice, who had her hands around Laurent's throat. "I'm going to rip you apart!" she screamed.

--------

As for Elena, she was lying in her bed, fighting to live. She knew that Katherine was trying to kill her and by pretending to be dead, Katherine would leave her alone. The trick worked and Elena was safe.

But there were two things wrong with that plan. One of them was that Elena was in a whole new world, one with a different brand of vampires.

Another thing was that she did not know who she was...

The Twilight Vampire Diaries Part 1

2011-10-29T14:27:00.000-07:00

Elena Gilbert was running away from Mystic Falls, Virginia. She could not believe that that bitch Katherine had dared to ruin her relationship with Stefan Salvatore, nor did she want to hook up with his younger brother, Damon. It was time to draw the bitch away from the brothers; anyone who dated two brothers was a whore, Elena thought to herself.

She sighed as she saw a sign that said Welcome to Forks as the bus drove into Forks, Washington. Now who would name a town Forks? Elena thought to herself. But if Forks was where she could hide, then so be it.

Bella Swan was picking herself back up, much to the relief of her father, Charlie. But she refused to get over Edward Cullen, and that had him worried. He had found some things hidden under her bed and set them out, hoping that she would notice them. Unfortunately, she did not.

Anyway, she was on her way to school when she saw something she did not expect to see: another vampire. This one was dressed in the nicest of clothes, something that Alice herself would wear...if she had lived during the 19th century, that was. Also, the vampire was not very nice, from the way she was chasing that other girl.

Elena saw Katherine and began to run, but the vampire said to her, "You think that just because you're pretty and popular that you can have any guy you want? Stefan was mine first!"

"You whore," Elena shouted back. "I know you were dating Damon as well. Are you messed up in the head? What self-respecting girl dates two men who are brothers? You're disgusting!"

Bella gasped as she watched the evil vampire slap the poor girl across her face. That vampire reminded her of Rosalie. But she had no time to do anything else but escape as the girl slammed into her truck…

Elena gasped in horror as Katherine slapped her and sent her flying into a truck. As she watched her life flash before her eyes, all she could think about was Stefan Salvatore. Goodbye, Stefan, Elena thought, as if her thoughts could reach him. I love you.

Katherine smirked as she watched Elena slam into a truck and fell down, hopefully to die. She then slipped away before anyone could see her.

Alice was dragging Edward back to Forks. She could not believe that Edward had the nerve to rip apart their family like that. She was bringing him back and forcing him to apologize to Bella for hurting her.

But she gasped in horror as she saw paramedics lifting a young girl away from a damaged truck. Bella's red truck. Was Bella hurt?

Bella was feeling dizzy. She tried to stand up, but she couldn't due to the pain in her head. She gasped as she saw someone walk toward her. "Edward?" she muttered as she fainted.

What Bella Wants

2011-10-28T14:22:00.000-07:00

Image by Nayara - Oliveira via Flickr

Bella Swan was tired of everyone telling her what to do. It seemed like everyone was wanting her to do what they wanted her to do. Jacob Black wanted her to choose him instead of Edward Cullen, knowing full well that he could imprint on another girl. Rosalie, Edward's sister, wanted her to stay human and just be a wife and mother, which Bella thought was pointless. Charlie wanted her to reject Edward and kick him out of her life for leaving her several months earlier.

Bella sat them all down one day and said, "Look, I appreciate what you are all doing for me, but do any of you even take the time to think about what I want?"

"What are you talking about?" said Rosalie.

"You all want me to do things that are good for you, but they aren't right for me," said Bella. To Jacob, she said, "You want me to pick Edward instead of you. But what if you imprint on another girl? I can't face that at all. You'll break my heart the way Sam broke Leah's heart when he imprinted on Emily." Jacob stared at her with wide eyes. He knew that she was right.

Bella said to Rosalie, "And I know you want me to live a human life, but do you think I can do that now that I have experienced your world? Do you not think that God set me on this earth just so I can live a human life? Or He might have had a different reason why I am here. I might want to bring a change to the supernatural world as well. And as for children, do you think I might not want children at all? Not that I don't love children, but I just don't see myself as a mother. And besides, you had your chance to live, but for some reason, you ended up a vampire. Wouldn't it be wise to just get over it and move on?" Rosalie stared at Bella as if Bella had slapped her across her face.

Charlie knew that she would be dealing with him. Better get it over with, he thought to himself. "Dad," Bella was speaking to him now. "I don't understand how you can say that Edward had left me and that should be enough to have me cut him out of my life. Just because people leave us is no excuse to delete them from our lives! What if you realized that you were wrong to let mom go? Would you beg her to take you back?"

Charlie stared at Bella and he knew that she was right. Bella knew that forgiveness was the right thing to do and he knew better than to tell her to reject Edward. "And besides," Bella continued, "do you even consider how much it hurt Edward to have to leave me? He almost killed himself because he left me. Did you not suffer because mom left you? Were you not in any pain?"

Charlie nodded. He had no idea how insightful Bella was.

"And as for you, Rosalie," Bella went back to the vampire sitting in the room, "how can you be so cruel to Edward? You can get mad at him for dating me all you want, but to tell him that I was dead was the most inexcusable and unforgivable thing that you have ever done! And I will be telling Carlisle that the next time I see him."

Bella now turned on Jacob and said, "And if you ever in your life put your hands on me like that again, I will have Edward beat you to death! I will not be forced to make any choices, and especially not by you!"

"So what's the point of having this meeting?" asked Charlie.

Bella said, "Do you ever consider what I really want? I want to live my own life, thank you very much. So what if I don't choose Jacob? It's not that I don't love him, but to me, he's always been a great friend when I needed one. And if I decide to become a vampire, I will deal with the results and not try to hold onto the past. And if I take Edward back, it proves that I'm mature enough to put the petty things that drove us apart aside and rebuild our relationship."

No one had anything else to say to Bella after her speech. It was like she had taken their greedy selfish desires for her and threw them in the trash. At length, Bella said, "I'm going out."

Charlie remained in his seat ling after everyone else had left. Who was he fooling? Bella was his daughter, his stubborn daughter. She would not back down just because everyone had tried to butt into her life. He wondered if he even knew his daughter at all.

Jacob frowned as he wandered around La Push. As much as he hated to admit it, Bella was right. Could they really be together if there was a chance that he could imprint? The wolf would not allow them to be together at all.

Rosalie felt rotten after Bella yelled at her for trying to tell her how to live her life. She too felt bad for what she did, but there would be one other person who was not above giving her a good slap across the face. It was an angry Edward Cullen.

"ROSALIE!!!"

~to be continued

Twilight News...that's last year's news!

2011-10-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

"The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" Opens in Theaters to eager "Twilight" fans

Twilighters around the country are flocking to theaters to watch the third installment of the popular vampire series Twilight. The series concerns itself with a young girl named Bella Swan and her boyfriend Edward Cullen, who is revealed to be a vampire. Bella also struggles with her feelings for Jacob Black, a young boy who is a werewolf.

In this latest installment based on the bestselling book written by Stephenie Meyer, Bella is having a hard time dealing with her relationship with Edward and her friendship with Jacob. On top of that, an old enemy seeks vengeance, meaning that she could put a permanent end to Bella's love story…forever!

So far, the movie is ranking at #1, followed by "The Last Airbender" at #2.

~from "The Green Hill Manor Mystery"

The True History of the Cullen Family, Chapter 12

2011-10-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Human Behavior

While Jacquelyn Claire Ulrich was fighting to save her sanity, Leah Clearwater was fighting to save her own humanity.

Leah had been banished from La Push several hours before, and she was sure that she was losing her mind. After all, no Quileute had ever stepped out of the reservation and survived.

She was walking along in the woods when she heard a voice. "Leah."

"Dad?" she asked, afraid of what she knew. Her father was dead.

"Leah."

"Who are you?" she cried out as she turned to face the person.

"Why do you abandon your people?" asked the voice.

"Why do they cast me out?" Leah cried out in turn.

Something wasn't right; disembodied voices don't just come out and talk to people, Leah thought to herself as she ran.

"Leah," said the voice. "There is trouble in La Push. Something that has happened that should not have happened, and something that should happened that did not happen."

"What are you talking about?" Leah cried out.

"There is trouble brewing in La Push," said the voice, "trouble that escaped the Elders' reproach. It must be punished. You must return."

"If I return, then they will kill me on sight," Leah protested. "I must flee while I can still run."

"I will correct their mistakes," said the voice. "Now GO!"

----------

Jasper sat there, staring into space. A bath had been drawn and Jacquelyn was nowhere to be found.

Minerva had convinced her to sit in a warm tub full of healing oils in the hopes that she could speed her recovery. Gus was hunting for their meal.

At length, Jacquelyn said to Minerva, "Don't you miss being a human?"

Minerva said, "I would, if only I could remember what it was like to be human. The last thing I can recall was mother whispering an incantation as the snake killed her..."

"Can’t Gus reverse the spell?" Jacquelyn cut in.

"He’s not advanced enough," said Minerva. "He too was turned into a snake. Only an advanced sorcerer can break the spell.”

"There must be books in this place that are dedicated to spells and such," said Jacquelyn. "You and Gus could sneak into the library and find them."

"We could," said Minerva. "They will never notice two snakes crawling around here. But first, you must recover."

Jacquelyn sighed and stepped out the tub. A glance into the mirror showed that she was so pale that her skin was even whiter than milk. She seemed to resemble a vampire. How ironic, she thought to herself. I become obsessed with vampires and now I end up living in a vampire's castle. I even look like one. Life sure has a funny way of irony.

But then again, she knew that come what may, she would have to submit to being an actual vampire.

She reached for her dressing gown and walked out the bathroom.

----------

Old Quil Ataera knew something was wrong when Leah walked into the woods and did not return.

He was among the oldest in the Quileute population, and he had certainly seen better days. This was not one of them. "There is something wrong," he muttered to himself.

Sitting beside him was his grandson, Quil Ataera III. Quil frowned, not approving of Jacob’s handling of Leah Clearwater’s situation. Something had to be done about that.

Just then, a huge black wolf lunged towards them. Old Quil screamed and clutched his grandson as the wolf growled at them. It stared at them for a moment, then bounded towards Emily’s house.

Emily!

Quil Junior quickly helped his grandfather into their house and ran towards Emily’s house. Emily had no idea about the wolves existing, nor did she know about the Quileutes’ connection to the wolves. She was in grave danger…

----------

Jasper was very excited when he saw his pet step out of the bathroom wearing little more than a dressing robe. He said, "Well, little lass, I take it you are healed?"

"Only in body; her mind has a long way to go," said Minerva.

"I see," said Jasper. "Now where did your brother get off to? He said he was to fetch you some snacks, but he hasn't showed up yet."

"I’m here now," said Gus as he crawled into the room. He dropped a huge rat in front of Minerva and said, "If only more vampires ate rats than humans, then this castle wouldn't have such an infestation."

"I see," said Jasper. He stood up and said, "You mind giving her some space?"

"Yes, but we'll be watching you," said Minerva as she pounced on the rat. "She’s still fragile."

Jasper sighed and led Jacquelyn back to the bed. Hopefully a prolonged sleep would do her some good.

--------

Emily smiled as her tiny children ran around the house playing. There was nothing to disturb them.

But for her, a huge wolf growled as soon as it spotted her.

None of the children noticed the wolf as it lunged at Emily. She took off for the gardens, screaming her head off…

Paul heard Emily’s screams and rushed towards Emily’s house. Quil had already reached the house and was blocking the doorway so that the children could not get out.

Sam said, "Emily? Where is she?"

"I found her!" Jared yelled as he rushed back to the house with Emily. She was badly hurt.

"What happened?" Sam cried out.

"I heard her screaming and rushed here," said Paul.

"Does anyone know who caused this?" Jared cried out.

“What happened?” Sue cried out as she came to the house with Seth.

“Emily’s been attacked,” Sam said with a sad look on his face.

--------

Leah saw the wolf and yelled, “Why did you attack my cousin? She did nothing wrong!”

The wolf said, "Sam devoted himself more to her than to his own wife. She had to pay for his sins of abandoning you."

"Who are you?" Leah snapped. "Why are you doing this?"

"I am Taha Aki," said the wolf. "My children have forgotten about their legacy. They have forgotten about me. This is not good. I will make them learn."

Billy saw the wolf talking to Leah. He stood up and shouted, "Leah, run! I'll hold him off..."

But the wolf pounced on him and he screamed in horror...

-------

Jasper inspected Jacquelyn's arms and concluded that there were no carvings or whatnot on her body.

But that didn't mean she wasn't still hurting.

"You all right, little lass?" he asked as Jacquelyn wrapped herself into the robe. She shook her head. Jasper frowned as he clutched to the girl before she could turn away. Jacquelyn struggled a bit before relaxing, but she still did NOT know what a pet does.

At length, what she needed to do now was to save herself.

How Bree Tanner Got Her Life Back

2011-09-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

"Take care of that," said Jane to Felix. "I want to go home."

Felix smiled as he pounced on poor Bree. She was doomed. So this is what it feels like to truly die, she thought to herself as she waited for the blow that would send her to her eternal resting place, be it Heaven or Hell.

Just then, a voice yelled out, "WAIT!" They all turned around and saw BELLA staring at them. She said, "Uh, I think you guys should let her live."

"Why should we?" Jane smirked. "After all, she was part of a group of newborns who were programmed to kill you. We don't give second chances."

"Well, what if she could prove her usefulness?" Bella said. "Then can she live?"

"We’ll think about it," said Alec. "But first, let's discuss your future. You must be turned before this year ends or we will destroy you and the Cullen Clan."

"I guess you need to speak to Sam about this," said Carlisle. "But for now, I have a patient to treat."

He took everyone back to the Cullen house and said to Esme, "You need to keep an eye on Bree until I return. We must discuss her fate as a family."

Esme nodded as she watched Carlisle leave. Bella stood up and said, "I believe that you need to talk to Aro before you rush to judgment. Maybe Bree didn't want to be a part of this. I’ve seen people being executed and they didn't agree to be part of the crime that they are accused of. So in this sense, she is innocent until proven guilty."

"Indeed," said Jane as she reached for her cell phone.

-----------------------

At Jacob’s house, the other Wolves gathered around, all waiting word on Jacob’s fate. He had gotten hurt while trying to stop Leah from being killed by a newborn.

At length, Carlisle came out and said, "The worst is over. He’ll be fine in the morning. But Sam, we need to talk."

"Indeed," said Sam. "Why should we?"

"First off, I’m sorry about Leah, but somehow, she was asking for it. You need to say something to Seth. He blames himself for her death," said Carlisle. Sam nodded grimly. Carlisle also said, "We are having a meeting about something, and I think you must be a part of it."

"Indeed," said Sam. "I shall dispatch Embry and Quil to keep an eye on Jacob. But we and the Elders wish to see what is going on and mayhaps have our say on this matter."

Seth nodded forlornly; in less than a few weeks, his father and sister were dead. Things just did not go well for the Clearwater family. "I think God hates us," he said. "So that's why He allowed dad and Leah to die."

"God does not hate you," said Carlisle. "He loves you. But your father was in great pain when he died; plus eating all those fried fatty foods weren’t good for him. As for Leah, she shouldn't have remained bitter; bitterness has killed more people than hunger and diseases combined."

Sue nodded and said, "So why do we meet at your place?"

"This is important," said Carlisle. "It will impact you as well. I’m trying to lessen the impact for all our sakes."

-------

Bree sat alone in the room; everyone was staring at her. No one knew what to say or do. But the meeting was going to determine whether she would live or die.

Just then, the door opened and Carlisle walked in with the Quileutes following him. The Cullens and Bella turned to see them. Bree gasped as she saw them, knowing that her fate was in their hands…

The True History of the Cullen Family, Part 11

2011-09-24T13:20:00.000-07:00

Heal the Pain

Jasper took Jacquelyn to Marcus's office. The older vampire frowned as he listened to Jacquelyn's sad story about her life. But when he saw the child's scars, anger filled him.

"Who has done this to her?" he snarled. "Name the monster who harmed her and I'll personally tear him apart."

"No one hurt her," said Jasper. "She did that to herself."

"Now why would she do anything like that?" Marcus said.

"Because it was my fault that my mother had died," said Jacquelyn. "And I just couldn't bear to see another child and their mother when my mother is no longer here. I carved her name on my arms so I would never forget what I had lost and to keep from loving someone else who could have adopted me."

"I see," said Marcus. "And it is no less of a tragedy that you are unhappy. But we will have to heal you. You know nothing but pain, not even love."

Jasper said, "Now how will I go about healing her? She's too fragile for...other things."

"She's your pet," said Marcus. "So you can do with her what you wish. Now leave me to my grief."

Jasper stormed away in anger; he should have known that Marcus would use any opportunity to turn the person's grief against him. Jacquelyn did not say anything until they reached Jasper's room.

There, Jasper said to her, "Marcus is a very depressed and violable man. I advise you to steer clear of him if at all possible." He looked at her scars again and said, "You have not forgiven yourself for your mother's death. No child ever deserves to suffer like this."

Jacquelyn found herself crying; she had not cried in years. Not since her mother's funeral. But now, the tears fell from her face and onto her arms, essentially washing away the scars that remained.

Jasper did not notice her crying until he saw her collapse onto the floor and crying profusely. He thought to himself maybe she just needed a good cry. Crying comforts the heart and brings peace to the soul. Women were more prone to crying, he had discovered, and crying was not a sign of weakness, but of strength.

Jasper sat beside Jacquelyn and said nothing as she cried. But for her, her life would never be good. Not if she were to return to the human world. At length, he said, "You feeling all right, little lass?" She shook her head. Jasper then said, "Don't pay no mind to what Marcus says. He may be part of the Volturi, but he shuts himself away from everyone. He even uses his grief as a cloak. But don't let what he says bother you." Jacquelyn nodded, but still refused to speak. Jasper picked up the girl and set her on the bed, wiping away her tears and noting the disappearance of the scars that had been on her arms and hands. "Your mother will never truly leave you," he said as he sat beside the still unhappy girl. Jacquelyn nodded and turned away from him. Jasper sighed, knowing that there was still so much healing for them to go.

--------

Leah was certainly surprised when she saw Jacob, Sam, and several others gathering at Sue's house.

Of course her cruelty would reach the ears of the Elders, but Jacob was still unimpressed. He knew he had to put an end to Leah's cruelty.

"Why are you here?" Leah snapped. "It was already bad enough that you told me that Sam was cheating on me with Emily, but this takes the cake!"

"You destroyed Bella’s marriage," Jacob said in turn. "You betrayed me! You had no right!"

"Like you're any better!" Leah snapped in turn. "Bella’s husband was out of town, and you decided to make a move on her. What were you thinking?"

Sam cut in, saying, "Leah Clearwater, your cruelty has grown over the years, and for some reason, I can't look at you anymore." Paul and Jared stared at her. "We have decided to banish you from La Push."

Sue gasped in horror. "You would banish Leah from La Push? Without consulting the Elders? Without consulting me?! I’m her mother!"

"But she forgets her place," said Sam. "For years, I had to put up with her cruelty, but no more. Even her children want her to go away. I don't think there's any hope for her at this point in time."

"She must leave or we will execute her," said Jacob. "And she cannot return at all, not unless she wishes to be killed upon her returning."

Leah couldn't believe her ears; the entire tribe wanted her gone! How could this be? Especially since she was wronged in the first place.

Sam said to her, "You have five seconds to leave or you will die." Leah gasped in horror, but remained rooted to her spot.

Jacob said, “I hope you don’t have a death wish, because I’ll make it come true.”

Leah gasped in horror as she fled from the reservation. She knew that upon her exile, she would be declared dead to the tribe. But little did she know that she would be trapped in another world, one that would be her worst nightmare…

The True History of the Cullen Family, Part 10

2011-09-17T12:55:00.000-07:00

Love Stinks!

Bella Swan found out that her husband, Mike Newton, had been cheating on her.

She packed up their two children, Michael junior and Alexa, and left the home that she shared with her husband. She needed to talk to someone about this immediately.

So she drove off to La Push.

Leah saw her and said, "What happened?"

"Stupid Mike," Bella snapped in anger. "Why did you have to tell me that Mike was cheating on me? Seriously, what do you have against me?" Leah ignored her. "I demand an answer from you!" Bella yelled again.

Leah sighed and walked to her car. "Yeah, just go!" Bella snapped. "Just walk away from me and not care if I am hurt or not! I'm going back to Charlie's."

And with that, Bella stormed away.

Leah turned and saw Bella leaving her house. She wanted to explain herself, but that would mean bringing up Sam and Emily and she was not about to do that at all.

She wondered if her attitude was driving away everyone who loved her. First it was Jacob, who defended from the pack her until she betrayed him. Then she alienated Seth and his children during a family gathering. Then she turned a deaf ear to Emily when she was crying. She was crying because her husband had abandoned her and their unlucky children. She became so cold and cruel that Sam refused to talk to her and even their children feared her.

Now it was Bella. Brave, clumsy, and stubborn Bella. Leah knew that Mike had been in an accident and just as he was recovering, he received word that a relative had died. That had him off in some other place helping the family in their time of grief.

Leah Clearwater was definitely the witch of La Push. One that needed to be dealt with or more people in La Push would suffer. She got into her car and headed to Sue's house.

Perhaps her mother knew the answers to her problems.

----------

Jasper frowned as he watched Jacquelyn wake up. She had been asleep nearly all day and she refused to open any curtains. Nor would she allowed any light to shine on her.

She was a tortured soul.

Jasper said to her, "You are not happy."

"As long as my mother is dead, I can never be happy," Jacquelyn said as she stared at her arms.

Ever since she was 8 years old, Jacquelyn had taken to carving her mother's name on her arms. She had done that on many occasions; whenever she saw a happy child and his mother, on her mother's birthday, and on the day that she died. After 7 years, the name IRINA was all over her arms, from her wrists to her shoulders. It was as if Jacquelyn didn't even want to recover from her mother's death.

Jasper reached out and took her hand in his. He saw the name IRINA carved onto her hands, her palms, and every one of her fingers. He said, "Has no doctor offered to remove these welts from your hands?"

"As long as I live, these welts will NOT go away," Jacquelyn said sadly. "My mother is dead. I will never have the happy life that most people living in this world take for granted. If it were, then I would gladly die and rejoin her in Heaven. But I can't. So I resorted to the next best thing."

"What was that?" asked Gus.

"I sought my own end," said Jacquelyn. "It's so easy to die. Poison, being shot or stabbed, a head injury too severe to survive. But then I thought about being a victim of someone else's crime. Maybe I would be ran over in an accident. Knowing that if I died, then at least I would die happy. But here I still am, an unhappy girl now living among vampires. Should one of them unintentionally kill me, I wouldn't mind at all."

Jasper stared at her for a long time. It was hard for this child to talk of her own demise when she survived many years as a foster child. There was a small wonder that she turned to the goth subculture and even to engage in risky behaviors that could mean her own death.

Minerva said, "She's just as broken as he is. We must put them back together."

"I'm not sure if being out back together is the beet option for her right now," said Gus. "She'll have to suffer a bit more until she decides that she needs healing."

Jasper took her hand and led her out the door. He needed to talk to someone who understood pain. And if there was anyone in the Volturi who understood pain, it would be Marcus.

At that, a girl's life was at stake.

Troublemaking Bella Strikes Again!

2011-09-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

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Today, Bella Swan turns 24, and yet, she still can't keep it together! Here's some stories that prove that she needs some serious help:

Bella Swan and Chelsea mocked a storybook character onJanuary 31, 2011

It seems that Bella Swan just can't keep her mouth shutabout certain people at all.

Just last week, she was overheard to say some very meanthings about Zoey Redbird, who is the leading character in PC and KristinCast's "House of Night" series. Bella said, "Zoey is nothingmore than a spoiled brat who just gets everything handed to her on a silverplatter. I had to fight to get what I wanted! Who’s the Mary-Sue now?"

Chelsea Volturi says, "I bet that Zoey couldn't evenlast a minute against the Volturi."

Zoey Redbird could not be reached in time for comment.

--------------------

Bella Swan and Tia hacked a website on March 16, 2011

Anti-Twilighters beware! Last night, Bella and Tia hackedinto the popular website BellaSue.com and caused the headache of the year whenthe trolled the site. Tia said, "Those people are just wasting their timehating Bella when they should be worry about themselves and if they mightbecome a vampire's next meal."

Bella added, "They should all be ashamed of themselves.Do they not know that the things they say about me actually hurts my feelings?I hope they all grow up to be fat, ugly, and alone with 30 cats."

Bridgett Rasmussen, owner of the website, had no comment.

--------------------

Bella Swan and Alistair were spotted on a reality TV show on May 10, 2011

I guess Bella must love reality shows.

Last night, she and Alistair made a surprise appearance on the hit reality show "Gable Mountain". The show takes 10 20-something-year-old people who still live with their parents and pits them against the mountain town of Gable, Colorado. When asked about her stint on the show, Bella said, "It's a refreshing change from Forks. The people there are friendly, but I can't say the same for Les (Fletcher), Stacey (Gustafson), Toby (Dewitt), Teresa (Deleon), Marty (Wiseman), Kristy (Brennan), Keith (Kauffman), Joel (McGuire), Dave (Alford), and Colleen (Baker)."

Alistair did not comment, and none of the stars of the show could be reached to comment.

----------------------

Bella Swan and Carmen mocked a storybook character on July 18, 2011

I guess some storybook characters will never get any respect from Bella Swan.

For example, She and Carmen attended a party several weeks earlier, where the guest of honor, Suzette Bruno (lead character in Seed & Pride written by X. P. McCann) was very rude to Bella. In response, Bella said, "Suzette is nothing more than a Mary-Siush rude girl who doesn't care about whose feelings she hurts, just as long as she gets what she wants."

Carmen said, "For some reason, Suzette reminds me of another girl who we all can't stand."

Suzette was not reached in time for comment.

-------------

Oh, Bella, you really are a card! Tune in next time for more troublemaking Twilighters!

Renesmee, the girl who misbehaves on her own birthday

2011-09-10T11:00:00.000-07:00

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Sure, today is Renesmee's 5th birthday, but for some reason, she can't behave herself! Here are some stories that prove that this girl is up to no good:

Renesmee Cullen and Riley Biers robbed a bank on December 3

On December 3, 2010, the First Bank of Forks was robbed, with the criminals making off with (not money), but an important document. This robbery was done by Renesmee Cullen and Riley Biers, both of who believed that they had been ripped off by the film studio Valmin Entertainment because they were not paid enough for their roles in the (now flop) movie Farley's Jump. David Wayans, director of the movie, says that he is sorry he failed to put them in the movie and will now pay them 2 million dollars in compensation.

---------------

Renesmee Cullen and Eric Yorkie can't keep it together on March 26

The stress of being a Twilight star is too much for some people.

Rumor has it that Eric Yorkie had checked himself into rehab on March 26, 2011. How and why he checked himself into rehab is still unknown.

Also, Renesmee Cullen has apparently called off her wedding to Jacob Black, citing "irreconcilable differences based on the fact that Jacob had harassed her mother, Bella." Jacob had no comment.

-----------------

Renesmee Cullen and Collin mocked a fan fiction character on October 17

Renesmee Cullen is apparently up to her old tricks again. She is now mocking Shelley Baird, a character who got sucked into Mortal Instruments. Shelley, who was created by fan fiction writer Samantha Finch, is seen by Renesmee as an uncecessary Mary Sue that sucked the life out of Samantha's fan fiction. Collin Ellison also claims that Samantha needs to take Shelley's personality down several notches.

Ms. Finch could not be reached in time for comment.

Her Final Days Chapter 20

2011-09-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

The storm soon spread to Forks.

Rosalie and Jill gasped in horror as they stared at the clouds. Baby Emmett laughed as he saw the clouds take the form of wolves. Just then, an old Indian came towards them.

Rosalie knew who it was.

Ephraim Black looked at Rosalie. He didn't see an old woman; instead, he saw a beautiful young woman staring at him. Rosalie said, "Ephraim?"

"Rosalie?" Ephraim said. "Why do you live this way? Why do you allow yourself to grow old and alone? Have you forgotten that I loved you?"

"So you did know my grandmother?" Jill cried out. "But this is impossible! If you met her, then she was a young girl. But how did you meet her?"

"At this spot many years ago," said Ephraim. "She was cold, cruel, and very stubborn. She was not pleased to live the life she was living. But I noticed her pain and fixed her broken heart. I put her back together again."

Jill said, "But why are you here?"

"My descendants are needing my wisdom," said Ephraim. "Jacob, his sons, Embry, Ezra, and Jacquelyn are at the edge of their lives. Evil threatens our people; an evil that should not have existed. An evil that should have been destroyed on sight."

"And yet, I made a terrible mistake," said Rosalie. "I was unaware that my choice to trust the witch would destroy my family. But I did. I destroyed my family. I hurt Emmett. I pushed Jacquelyn away from me. I was not thinking clearly when I wished to be mortal. I wanted to live a normal life, but I guess normal isn't for me."

"It is not for you, my dear," said Ephraim. "You have no idea that you have hurt my people as well as your family. I have seen your human family pay for your mistake. Your husband died from poisoning as a result of normal living, your daughter has a health problem that threatens to destroy her and her family, and even your granddaughter has not been living a respectable life because of abuse and rejection. Rosalie, you must correct this mistake before it destroys you forever."

Rosalie gasped in horror as she stared at Ephraim. Jill said, "And how can grandma correct this mistake? She's an old lady; she's going to die soon enough. Can't you have someone else fix this?"

"I can’t," said Ephraim. "Only Rosalie must correct this. And if she fails, then all of this..." he gestured to the woods, "could disappear forever."

Jill gasped in horror as she thought of the world disappearing. There was no way Rosalie could fail, as old as she was. But then came a perplexing question, even for her: "Where is Emmett?"

-----------

The baby laughed as a wolf carried him in the direction of the Cullen house. Inside, Jacquelyn joined Ezra at the window and they stared out into the darkness. Ezra said, "What's going on, mom?"

Jacquelyn said, "This storm is not of nature's making; rather, the spirits of our ancestors have come to us. They come in the hundreds. They are not just Quileutes. They are German as well as English. They have come to warn us."

Sam stared at her. "Warn us about what?" he snapped.

"The witch is returning to collect what is hers," said Jacquelyn. "which is Rosalie. She is alive and yet mortal. I believe the witch is about to make herself known soon. We must be ready."

Just then, Embry heard a baby's laugh outside the front door. He was a small boy with blond hair and green eyes. "I think we've found a lost baby," he said.

"Who is he?" said Sam with a strange look on his face.

"Me Emmett!" the baby laughed as he stared at the old wolves.

"Emmett?" Embry gasped as he saw the baby.

"Uh-oh, it's that baby we saw back at the nursing home!" Ezra said to himself.

Jacquelyn said, "But why would a baby be at the nursing home? He's too young to live there."

"Or his mother could be living there, with her grandmother," Ezra said in turn. "Carter and Elena were there as well."

Embry said, "This is a bad omen; a baby is alone and his mother is not there." He picked up baby Emmett and said, "This is no natural storm; it is the work of evil."

"This is worse than we thought," said Sam. To Jacquelyn, he said, "Whatever skills you live by, now would be the best time to pass them onto us."

Jacquelyn said, "If you insist on fighting in your wolf forms, I can't help you there. But I did have an encounter with someone who can teach you to fight in your spirit forms."

"You don’t mean..." Embry began.

"Taha Aki came to me in a dream before we came back to Forks," said Jacquelyn. "He told me to teach you all to fight in your spirit forms. Only in spirit can we win this fight."

Sam stared at her and said, "He came to you?"

"He is here now," said Jacquelyn. "He cannot appear to you in his mortal body, so he is here in the form of a wolf." They all turned around and saw a huge black wolf staring at them…

-----

Carlisle frowned as he faced the new wolves. Jacob said to them, "They are Charlie and Sue's grandchildren. How and why they are phasing when the Swan family wasn't originally Quileute, we may never know."

Edward said, "We have trouble in our own home; Jacquelyn claims that a wolf has brought a baby to her. Whose child it is, she won't say."

"Then let us go to the Cullen house and see this child," said Paul. "I have a bad feeling that the witch is here."

The Cullens nodded and set off for their house; they hoped that Jacquelyn would be able to hold off until they got there.

-----

Rosalie gasped as Ephraim said to her, "You and your granddaughter are in grave danger, for the witch is here. She wishes to harm you…"

Just then, a cackling voice was heard. "I have you two now," the witch laughed as she used vines to tie up Rosalie and Jill. Jill screamed in horror as she was being taken away...

The True History of the Cullen Family, Chapter 9

2011-09-07T09:11:00.000-07:00

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Here Comes the Rain Again

Jasper frowned as he and the other guards (Alec, Felix, Demetri, and Jane) returned home from another night of "light snacking.” Hopefully, he had his pet to talk to.

Speaking of Jacquelyn, she was still in the room asleep. The snakes were still in the basket. Upon hearing him, Minerva slithered out of the basket and said to him, "You do not seem to enjoy yourself here."

Jasper said to her, "Why would you want to say something crazy about that?"

"You are not happy," Minerva said again.

Jasper frowned as he stared at the tiny snake. Snakes were smart he said to himself, but they are bothersome.

Just then, Jacquelyn woke up and stared at him. Jasper did not know what to do or say. Minerva said to her, "He is broken. He needs to be put back together."

Jacquelyn nodded; now was the time which Minerva said that she would find true love. But would she be able to love a broken vampire?

=========

La Push, Washington

What if the Twilight story never happened?

Leah Clearwater sat sobbing in the kitchen of the house she and Sam Uley had shared. Earlier, she had learned from Jacob Black that her husband had been cheating on her with her own cousin, Emily Young. Emily had been abandoned by her husband Steve Johnson the year before.

What Leah didn't understand was how Sam could have taken advantage of that poor woman like that. Emily had had a child with Down syndrome and another child with autism, plus two children who were albinos and a son who had vitiligo. Emily had been the unluckiest woman in La Push.

Not like Leah, since all her children were born healthy. It was unnatural for any child in La Push to be sick. But that was not the worst of it.

Leah's father, Harry, had just died of a heart attack a few weeks before; the memory of the funeral was still fresh in her mind. She needed to go to her old house and check up on her mother, Sue.

Leah grabbed the car keys and was about to leave when she spotted a red car speeding toward her. It was Bella Swan, who had just left her husband a few hours earlier.

The True History of the Cullen Family, Chapter 8

2011-09-06T08:42:00.000-07:00

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A Child's Tale

That evening, Jacquelyn found herself sitting with the Volturi in the dining room. Even though the ancient vampires had no need to eat human food, Aro had seen to it that Jacquelyn was fed.

He said, "Now tell us your story and so not leave anything out."

Jacquelyn sighed and for the next three hours, she described everything to the old vampires. Her birth; her early life on Fleet Street in London, England; her mother taking her to Italy; her mother's death; her being sent to a foster family; her doubts and fears; her decision to run away; and finally, how she came to find Elbert and make him pay for her mother's death.

Aro smiled and said, "That was a marvelous story! Such a shame about your poor mother; she seemed like a wonderful person."

"I agree," said Caius, "and I would like to add that you did the right thing by coming here. The way I see it, the human world has no place for girls like you, as you have rejected the world's ideas of what a girl should be like."

Marcus frowned and said nothing.

Jasper stood up and said, "You've kept her long enough; I shall take her and retire to my chambers now." He took Jacquelyn and they left the dining hall.

"Such a nice girl," Aro smiled. "I do hope that we see her again soon."

"Not too soon, I hope," Caius said as Jane glared at them both.

---------

As soon as they were back in Jasper's room, Jasper said, "You must be real lucky impressing them. Very few humans who Aro meets escape from him with their humanity intact; not that he won't decide to turn you, of course."

Jacquelyn noticed a bed in the darkest corner of the room and Jasper said, "You should rest here tonight, you must have had a rough journey getting here." She nodded and pulled at the dress, until Jasper slipped the dress over her unnaturally thin shoulders and set it in a chair.

As soon as he was out for another round of light snacking, Minerva crawled out of the basket and said, "How did it go?"

"Not too bad," said Jacquelyn. "But I have a feeling that he is imprisoned in his mind and he must be set free."

"So we shall free him," said Minerva. "But before we free him, we must learn about him so we'll know who and what we're saving him from."

Jacquelyn nodded and crawled into bed; it had been a long day for her and the snakes. But she knew that it was not over yet, not as far as Jasper was concerned...

The True History of the Cullen Family, Chapter 7

2011-09-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Jacquelyn found herself being taken to the baths that were located behind the castle. Gus and Minerva remained hidden in her bag. None of them realized that the next hour of their lives would be their last...

---------

Aro smiled at Jasper and said, "So, how did we do? Do you like your new pet?"

"I do," said Jasper.

Caius glared at them and said, "This isn't right what you are doing, Aro. This pet, she's too young for us and on top of that, she knows too much about vampires. We have to stop this before it goes too far."

Marcus said, "But what of the old days when we once kept humans as pets? Were we not so different from him? He needs her and she needs him. I have a feeling that we will all need her."

"Indeed," said Caius as he sat on his throne. "Now someone fetch me a snack; I'm feeling peckish." Immediately, a human was brought to the Volturi.

"Elbert Braun," Aro said as he laid eyes in the man. "Did you know that we've been after you for twenty years?"

Marcus said, "You were responsible for the disaster at the hotel eight years ago."

"Releasing that snake into the hotel lobby was a bad idea," Caius hissed at Elbert. "One little girl lost her mother as a result of your stupidity. Now you must die."

Elbert screamed in horror as the vampires pounced on him...

_____________

Jacquelyn stood in the middle of what appeared to be a large bedroom. It's a tomblike room, but quite almost lightless. The walls are covered in graffiti, broken up by heavy, springtime green curtains on the windows.Minerva gasped as she slid out of the bag and saw Jacquelyn. Her hair was washed until it returned to its dark color, her skin was moon-pale, and most of her jewelry gleamed in the sunlight.

Gus said, "Well, we're now stuck in a vampire's den. How are we going to escape this time?"

"We don't," said Minerva. "Remember, Jacquelyn must heal a man who needs love. If we leave now, she'll never find true love."

"Yeah, yeah," Gus muttered as Jacquelyn walked into the room. She said, "What do we do now?"

Jasper walked into the room. It was now evening, and Jacquelyn had shared her dinner with Gus and Minerva a few hours earlier. He said, "I take it that you're my new pet."

"What? Like a lap dog?" Gus smirked.

Jasper glared at him. "Not like a lap dog."

"What are you talking about then?" Minerva said.

"I need a human pet," said Jasper, "and she's it."

Minerva was angry. "She's a girl, not an animal!"

"But she'll be my pet nonetheless," said Jasper, "so you rattlesnakes better be nice."

"We're not rattlesnakes!" Gus yelled in anger, but they all gasped as they saw Jacquelyn walking towards them wearing a beautiful dress. This charming lavender chiffon gown, woven with ferns, seems to have been made for a little girl. Jasper frowned; he'd have to have a word with the wives later.

Jacquelyn said, "So I take it that you have met Gus and Minerva?"

"Well," said Jasper, "they don't seem to be welcoming me very much."

"I wonder why," Jacquelyn said as she approached him.

Jasper found himself smiling in excitement; this girl was a rare beauty, even if she seemed to favor dark clothing.

Minerva hissed at Jasper and crawled into a huge basket that sat in the corner of the room. Gus followed his sister while giving Jacquel a sad look. Jasper smiled and said, "Come with me."

Jacquelyn nodded, but she was nervous. She had no idea of what she had gotten herself into; especially now that she was among vampires. Jasper reached over and took her hand, guiding her to the door. The door that led to their future...

Another Twilighted Year

2011-09-02T12:00:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

Once again, we have to pause and realize that this is the second year that this blog has been up here.

So let's give ourselves a round of applause!

That being done, we now have to focus on two big things: the Breaking Dawn movies and another wave of TwiFiction that has invaded my head as of late.

And the fics are as follows:

The True History of the Cullen Family: in which Carlisle Cullen is murdered by a childhood friend BEFORE he goes on that quest and gets bitten by a vampire. meaning that none of the other Cullens exist. But Jasper does, and he and an unlikely lover must build everyne's favorite vampire family up before a disaster happens!
Twilight/Vampire Diaries Crossover (title to be decided later): In which Elena Gilbert is attacked by her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend and loses all her memories as a result of the attack, it's up to Bella, the Cullens, and the Wolves to help her before evil strikes again!
What Bella Wants: in which Bella grows a backbone, stands up to everyone, and forces Edward to face his fears of love and committment.
The Volturi Diaries Season 2: In which the Volturi deals with characters from House of Night, Rasputin, and the war against Lord Voldemort.

There will be more of the La Push Show, all new fanfics, and tons of fun stuff. So let's have fun this year!

Her Final Days Chapter 19

2011-08-31T08:40:00.000-07:00

Image by VancityAllie via Flickr

Rosalie stepped out of the car and walked into the graveyard. Jill said, "Now why are we in a cemetery?"

Rosalie said, "Because this was where Ephraim was buried. His people have often claimed that he still walks here, but no one has actually seen him."

Jill said, "Now why are we really in some Native American burial place?"

Rosalie frowned and began to let her mind wander...

(FLASHBACK)

LA PUSH, WASHINGTON

1936

Rosalie could hardly believe herself. One minute, she was angry and jealous, but the next minute, she was kissing Ephraim Black. This would not do at all.

Edward had confronted her about it later that day and warned her to stay away from the Quileute wolf. Ephraim could imprint at any time, and she had Emmett.

But she did not care; Rosalie had never felt this excited in years. it was like she had discovered the best thing in her life (save for the idea of love and marriage, that was).

Within a few days after that fateful kiss, Ephraim met with Carlisle and had him tell the tribe his life story. He even made Edward, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie tell their life stories as well. Belle frowned, wondering why the blond girl had to describe the riches of high society when her mother and grandmother gave up that life years before she herself was born.

At length, the oldest member of the tribe stood up and said, "Now, this is intriguing. You say you are vampires, but you have not consumed human blood. Even if our greatest chief was alive, he too would be in this predicament. You must stay here for a few more days while we deal with this."

Everyone was surprised, but William jumped around in joy; he was really getting attached to the Cullens, especially Emmett. Belle frowned, but she stared at Carlisle and Esme. Edward remained distant from everyone else, but Rosalie was conflicted. On one hand, she was a vampire and a Cullen, but for some reason, she had kissed Ephraim Black. This could be a problem if anyone were to find out.

(END FLASHBACK)

Rosalie stopped in front of a grave and said to Jill, "This is where they buried him after his death." Jill read the words:

"Here lies Ephraim Black

Alpha Wolf and Chief of the Quileute Tribe

First ally of the Cullen Clan

March 18, 1890-May 17, 1972"

Rosalie said, "He died years after my family had met him; he was old."

"So why are we here?" Jill asked.

"He is coming to us," Rosalie said as she stared at a dark cloud that lingered over the horizon. The sky was turning dark in anticipation of a great storm...

--------

Sam frowned as he opened the door to the Cullen house and found Jacquelyn in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Ezra was still asleep; she would wake him up soon.

Sam said, "I've been wondering if you had a fling with Embry and that's why Ezra is here."

"Be careful of how you word that, Sam," Jacquelyn snapped as she stared at him.

"I know there's something going on between you and him," Sam said. "I know that Ezra is Quileute, and you are the descendant of Isabella Braumlein, whose grandfather was also Quileute. Why do you deny your heritage?"

"I don't," said Jacquelyn, "but I believe that you are overstepping your boundaries. Your tribe is keeping something important from me and I want to know what it is. If my family is Quileute, then I need to know about my legacy so I can pass it on to Ezra."

Embry stood at the door with an angry look on his face; he was not pleased to see Sam. Ezra was staring at the window, noticing that a great storm was about to occur...

Her Final Days Chapter 18

2011-08-27T09:30:00.000-07:00

Nani Swan was concerned for her older brother.

She had been living in Yakima when she was informed by her parents that something was wrong with Nate and that she needed to come back to Forks. She hoped that it was not the fact that her brother would be phasing.

Nani wasn't too big on the Quileute legends and such, preferring to live her life as an all-American girl. She looked more like Charlie than she looked like Sue, with long brown hair and brown eyes, but her brother's skin was brown and he had dark hair and brown eyes.

When Nani pulled up at her grandparents' house, she saw a group of wolves standing about in the front yard. "Sam?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Your brother is phasing," said Sam, "and as far as we can tell, you could be the next to phase."

Nani laughed. "Girls can't phase!" she cried out. "Who told you that?"

"You are Sue's granddaughter," said Jacob, "which means that you are very likely to phase."

"And end up being a bitch like Aunt Leah?" Nani scoffed. "No thank you! I'd rather live my life as a normal American citizen."

"But you are also Quileute," said Sam, "and as such, you have an obligation to your people. There are rumors about vampires showing up here, and we all must be ready to deal with them."

"Why not just stake them and be done with it?" Nani scoffed. She stormed into the house and said, "Grandma, why are they in front of our house?"

"It's true," Sue said. "I also fear for you. A hot temper is usually a first sign of a wolf."

"I can't phase!" cried Nani. "I'm a woman."

"So we all thought that when Leah began phasing," said Sue. She then frowned, remembering her late husband Harry Clearwater, who had had a fatal heart attack upon discovering that his daughter Leah was phasing. "Harry couldn't handle the fact that Leah was a Wolf," said Sue. "And also, eating all those fried fatty foods just wasn't healthy at all." She looked at Nani and said, "Harriet, you must prepare to embrace the legacy that is before you, be it wrought with pain and sorrow."

"I don't understand," Nani said.

"Neither do I," said Charlie as he shuffled into the room. "I knew that Jacob could phase, as did some of the other boys, but I refused to listen to their histories and such. Too much information, I had said. I usually stick with a need-to-know basis."

"And what about Nate?" Nani asked. "Does he have the right to know?"

"You all do," said Sam. "The Swan family is not Quileute, or at least that was true until Charlie married Sue and had Darius. The Swans were palefaces, and as such, were subjected to the world of palefaces. But Bella would have none of that; she preferred the Cullens and their world. But your grandfather had been friends with Billy Black, who was tribal chief and elder..."

"Until his death," Nani said.

"Until Jacob took over," said Sam. He looked at the young woman and said, "You will start phasing in three days. Your brother has already begun phasing. Even if your family wasn't originally Quileute, I believe that you and Nate were chosen to phase for a good reason."

Nate said to Sam, "When do we meet up with the Cullens?"

"They have their own issues right now," said Sam. He frowned while thinking of Embry. Embry, who was at the Cullen house. Embry, who was with Jacquelyn Claire.

He frowned and made his way back to the Cullen house; something just didn't add up.

***********************

Rosalie said, "I knew Ephraim Black when he was once chief and Alpha Wolf."

"So it's true that those men on the reservation could...you know...turn into wolves?" Jill cried out.

"Who told you that?" asked Rosalie. "I hope it wasn't that Clarice Cotton; she's got the biggest mouth in Forks!"

Jill said, "He said he knew you from years ago."

"And he has," said Rosalie. "Tomorrow, we shall go to La Push and see him. I believe he has something important to tell us."

----------------

The True History of the Cullen Family, Chapter 6

2011-08-26T08:36:00.000-07:00

Image via WikipediaFated Meeting

Jacquelyn, Gus, and Minerva found themselves on the road again. It had been a few hours since they had found the man responsible for killing their parents and sending Jacquelyn to a foster family.

Now that man was on his way to Volterra to be punished for his sins of murder. Which meant he was to be eaten by the Volturi.

All three sat in the back of the bus that was carrying a group of unsuspecting tourists from several countries to Volterra, where a good portion of them would end up as a meal for the Volturi.

Minerva said, "Now is the time to find true love."

"I never had much of a concept of love," said Jacquelyn. "To me, love is something that must be avoided at all times."

"But your mother loved you," said Gus.

"Only because mothers must," Jacquelyn said. "But did she love anyone else other than her only begotten daughter? I think not, or I would have had a new father by now."

Minerva said, "And if you didn't have a father...how did your mother manage to raise you?"

"She was rich," said Jacquelyn. "Everything she had is now mine. I think that guy was after me just to steal my inheritance."

"So you had a good reason for leaving," said Gus.

Jacquelyn nodded and stared out the window as the city of Volterra got closer. She had heard rumors about the vampires living in the city for many years, and they had never left their castle. But would Volterra be the place where she would meet her destiny?

*********************

Jasper frowned as he tugged on his boots and tied his cape. It was his turn to stand with the guards in the throne room.

Aro smiled as he looked at the younger vampire, saying, "Today will be great, won't it, young Jasper?"

"Let's hope for safety's sake that I get my pet," said Jasper. "I've waited a long time for this day."

"Of course you have," said Aro. "And by the looks of it, she'll be arriving...soon."

*********************

When the bus pulled up to the castle, the people were dragged out. Renata and Heidi smiled, thinking of the meals they would soon be eating.

But when Jacquelyn came out, both of them smiled with glee; this certainly was the girl who would become Jasper's pet.

Heidi said to the people, "Welcome to Volturi Castle, let's all go inside, shall we?"

At once, the large group walked inside the huge castle. Renata scanned the crowd, looking for Jacquelyn. She spotted the girl with two small snakes standing near the back to the group.

Little did the people know that they would soon be eaten.

Alec smiled and said to Jane, "Look, Janie, there's your meal. Happy now?"

"They do look delicious," Jane smiled.

"Do we really have to eat those convicts?" Felix complained.

"Do we have any other choice?" Demetri said.

Fear gripped an elderly man as he walked towards a door. He said, "What's going on here?" But no one paid him any attention; they were too busy admiring the scenery.

Elbert gasped in horror as Gus slid over to him and said, "The time for judgment is upon you. I hope you've made your excuses to Saint Peter." Jacquelyn and Minerva nodded as they glared at him.

"What is happening?" the elderly man asked in fear as they got closer to the door. Everyone ignored him as Heidi opened the door and everyone walked into a small room. Jacquelyn, however, was distracted by a huge painting on a wall. Gun and Minerva hid themselves in her bag as she took a closer look at the painting.

"Do you like the painting?" Renata asked as she stood behind the younger girl.

"Yes," said Jacquelyn.

"Would you like to see the rest of the castle?" Renata said as she dragged Jacquelyn to the double doors that led to the throne room. They had barely walked through the doors before the horrified screams began to sound from the feeding room.

********************

Aro smiled as he saw Renata walk into the throne room with a smaller girl next to her. He said, "Hello, young one, I am known as Aro. What are you known as?"

"My name is Jacquelyn Claire Ulrich," said Jacquelyn.

"Jasper," Aro said to the young man standing next to him, "do you approve of this girl? Is she perfect for you?"

"She is," said Jasper with barely a hint of a smile on his face.

"Have Miss Jacquelyn cleaned up and brought back here," Aro said to some human servants who stood by another door. "I wish to know her more."

The servants bowed and took Jacquelyn out of the throne room. Caius said, "Well, that went better than expected."

"But I wonder if she is the one who could save us all," said Marcus. "She is just a girl; I was expecting a bit...more."

"For now, let us be content with her as our esteemed guest," said Aro.

Jasper ignored the conversation and frowned; this little pet would hopefully not get away...

The True History of the Cullen Family Chapter 5

2011-08-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

Broken

In the gardens of the once-grand Amazon Rose Hotel, Elbert Braun sat there wondering how things went downhill since the day Irina Ulrich died. He had detested Irina and her daughter Jacquelyn Claire because they were fabulously rich, and the fact that Irina's name and wealth was plastered all over the news for her huge parties and various charities and philanthropic works had caused him anger.

He had purchased a snake from a questionable dealer, who had been arrested and executed for his part in Irina's death, as were Abner and Marva Melbolger, who owned the hotel where Irina and Jacquelyn lived. The snake bit Irina as she and her daughter were in the lobby and killed her.

Irina hadn't been the only victim of the snake's poison. In fact, so many other people (and animals) were killed by the cobra. The cobra was eventually caught and destroyed, but not before 24 innocent people were slain. The hotel was shut down and the owners were executed.

Elbert gasped as a huge python slithered his way into the workshed he once owned. Gus said to him, "Elbert Braun, your time on this earth has expired."

"Gustin Von Ninglied," Elbert said with a sneer on his face. "You and your family have interfered in the lives of humans when you should have kept to the old ways."

"My father and mother believed that humans needed compassion, not cruelty," said Gus. "But beware, for your death comes to you in the form of a girl whose mother you killed."

Elbert gasped as he saw Jacquelyn standing behind him, with Minerva perched on her shoulder. "You were supposed to be in an orphanage!" he shouted as he saw the girl.

"I escaped," said Jacquelyn, "for I cannot live in peace until the monster who killed my mother is himself destroyed."

In her mind's eye, she saw a huge and terrible cobra leering at her. Its dark scaly body had jewels all over it. He said, "Don't I look pretty?"

Jacquelyn remembered a scene in The Hobbit where Bilbo Baggins was in Smaug's cave and he saw the weak spot on the dragon's body. A spot that was directly where the heart should have been.

"Old fool," Minerva said. "You've come unprepared to meet your doom."

"Minerva, sister of Gus," said the cobra. "You assist this foolish child?"

"Don't talk to her like that!" Jacquelyn snapped as she reached for a sword.

"The sword your mother carried when she cut off my tail," said the cobra. "But she wasn't fast enough to stop me. I killed her, and now, I get her daughter. Two for the price of one."

Jacquelyn found herself lunging at the cobra. How dare that creature take away her mother, especially if she was the only parent Jacquelyn had on this earth. She slashed at the snake again and again, thinking about her dead mother.

"You think of your mother?" the cobra taunted. "Why don't you join her then?"

"Never in this way!" Jacquelyn cried out. "You have broken me and hurt me and you took away the only mother I have on this earth!"

The cobra laughed as Jacquelyn cried out, "And I bet you killed Gus and Minerva's parents as well! You're the evil of evil! There is a Hell, and you sent so many good people there!"

"Is that so?" the cobra mocked. "Little one, your days have ended; too bad you haven't had the chance to live your life...

Just then, Jacquelyn threw herself at the empty spot where the cobra's heart was and jammed her sword there. The cobra screamed and cried out, "That was my heart, you little brat! How did you know?"

"The heart is where the most important things in life lay," Jacquelyn said in turn as the large cobra sank to the ground. "Now you must die."

She stood up and said, "Her child will crush your head, and you shall bite his heel." The last thing the cobra remembered was her boot coming down on his head, crushing his skull.

Within a few seconds, the scene changed and Jacquelyn gasped as she saw Elbert screaming something akin to a confession. The police frowned and one said, "This one's bound for Volterra."

"What's in Volterra?" Jacquelyn asked curiously.

"The Volturi have taken care of criminals in Italy for the last 25 years," said the cop. "In fact, it's so much easier to hand them over to the Volturi for consumption rather than fill the jails. Criminals whose crimes are especially heinous are sent to the Volturi; but we never let anyone know that."

Jacquelyn nodded and watched grimly as Elbert was taken away. Minerva said to her, "You did it! You have slain the snake! You have avenged your mother!"

"But he is still alive," Jacquelyn cut in.

"It's like you've said, there is a God, and He's always watching you," said Gus. "He will deal with Elbert. But you still must find true love. The man you will find is broken and he must be fixed before he can be free."

"And he is seeking you," said Minerva. "You must go to him."

Jacquelyn looked at the snakes for a moment and said, "So you're saying that I must go to Volterra and find this young man before he is too broken to fix?"

"You must," said Minerva. "We will go with you to Volterra."

Jacquelyn stared at the sky. The sun was rising, and she knew she had a long way to go before she could be healed of her pain. "We shall go to Volterra," she said at last.

-------------------

Jasper frowned as he stared at a group of girls standing before him. "They are too young," he said before Jane dismissed them.

Alec said, "We have torn this town upside down and you still haven't found your pet. You are so picky!"

Jasper said, "I'm looking for a certain kind of girl, the kind who you lose your heart to before you think about it."

"Have you been reading those cheap romance novels?" Felix mocked.

"Now now," said Aro. "Let's not tease poor Jasper. I'm sure he'll find his pet soon."

Marcus said, "I just had a revelation: he doesn't need to find his pet, for she is coming to us."

"Indeed," said Aro. To Heidi and Renata, he said, "Find this young girl and bring her here. Make sure she goes without a fuss." The guards nodded and walked out the door as Caius said, "A human in our castle? Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"It is," said Aro, "and who knows? Maybe something good will come from this. We shall see."

Jasper nodded, knowing that his pet was coming to him...

Her Final Days Chapter 17

2011-08-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

"So, let me get this straight: someone from the Swan family has the power to phase?" Jacob cried out.

"It's Nate Swan," said Paul. "We all know that Darius is Sue's son and he's married to Nadia, who was also Quileute."

"I knew something like this was going to happen," said Leah. "It all began with Darius's birth and I told my mom that any child Darius would have could have the power to phase."

"Well of course it would happen," said Sam. "Charlie is not Quileute, and yet his grandson could phase. He already knows so much about us, so what harm could it do to tell him the truth?"

"What if Sue told him already?" Embry said.

"We'll know when we see him," Sam said as he and the others walked out the door.

**********

Jill found herself running out of the club.

Normally she wouldn't be running around the city in nothing more than a tight t-shirt, a micro miniskirt, and strappy high heels. But she had to get away immediately.

Earlier that evening, Jill had had a strange vision of an Indian telling her to leave the club and return to her grandmother. That Indian was Ephraim Black, who had been dead for many years now.

Jill struggled to recall what had lead her to this place: After her father Patrick's divorce from her mother, Juliet Brewer, Juliet's boyfriend, Rodrigo Boone, moved into the family home. While Jill's sisters 17-year-old Violet and 13-year-old Rosalind got along with Rodrigo, 14-year-old Jill did not. Jill was sure that Rodrigo didn't like her blond hair, which she inherited from her grandmother Rosalie. Rodrigo began beating and abusing Jill, even banning her from attending school or hanging out with her friends.

But when Jill found herself pregnant, she left the house, not wanting her mother to find out what had happened to her.

Rodrigo grew angry and began chasing Jill around until she was at the airport in Minneapolis buying a ticket to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania where her grandparents, Laurette and Oswald Brewer, lived. Rodrigo too received word of Jill's potential destination and he hopped onto the plane hoping to catch the runaway girl.

Little did he know that Jill had changed plans and was flying to meet her grandmother Rosalie Durham in Seattle.

The plane Rodrigo was on landed in San Francisco and he was discovered in the cargo hold of the plane, dead. Dr. Carlisle Cullen was called to examine the body, and he reported that Rodrigo had been frozen to death because he sat in the cargo area of the plane, where the temperature of the sky fell to 20 degrees below zero.

Or as his adopted daughter Jacquelyn had claimed, "He [Rodrigo] died the way he had probably lived: he was a cold-hearted bastard."

Jill eventually met up with Rosalie in Forks and the next year, she gave birth to baby Emmett. Rosalie was displeased with how her granddaughter had been treated and she sought to have the girl taken from her mother. Patrick wasn't notified of what had happened to his daughter.

Rosalie spotted Jill wandering around outside the nursing home. "Jill," she cried out, "what on earth happened to you?"

"Do you know anyone named Ephraim Black?" Jill gasped.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I do," said Rosalie. "Now let's get you inside and get you some clean clothes. I certainly have a lot to tell you."

**********

Embry sat in Jacquelyn's room and sighed as he watched the werewitchpire run around the room with a book in one hand and a feather-pen tucked behind her ear. She said, "The probability of this happening is about 50:50 to 1. But as we both know, both Charlie and Bella have had dealings with the Quileutes, as do the entire Cullen family. I myself am a descendant of the Quileutes and I have passed that legacy onto Ezra."

"But that's not something you can just escape from," said Embry. "No matter how much Sam intimidates you."

"Or Sam knows something that we don't know yet," said Jacquelyn. She looked at Embry and said, "What if there's more to this than someone who is not of Quileute ancestry phasing? I bet the witch would have something to do with this."

Embry nodded and took Jacquelyn into his arms. "And when that moment comes," he said, "that witch will be regretting that she dared to mess with us at all."

True Colors

2011-08-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

THE CABIN

After sitting in the cabin with an unhappy Riley Biers, Charlie Swan was sure he was going to die.

He sat in the corner of the cabin, wondering about how Bella was going to be able to survive without him. Sure she could take care of herself, he mused, but she would be better off if there was an adult around.

Riley complained about his situation; Tanya had bitten him three days earlier and killed his parents. She forbade him from eating (or in his case, drinking blood) and she refused to allow him to leave the cabin.

Charlie hoped that Deputy Chief of Police Wilbert McCray would get his message and come as quick as he could.

-------------------

VOLTERRA

Aro and Caius sat in Aro's office for two long hours awaiting that dreaded phone call. It never came, but the men grew suspicious.

Caius said, "Well, I think things are going...rather well."

"We will know only if we are told," said Aro.

Caius sighed and picked up the phone, only to hear Marcus say, "It's true. I have spoken to them just hours ago. They want to destroy us by using those kids!"

"Come home immediately," Aro warned. "We have to make plans on how to deal with them."

--------------------

CULLEN HOUSE

Jacquelyn frowned as she sat on the couch; Mother Idelle had forbidden her from leaving the house, not when the birth of the babies would be imminent.

Jane and Rosalie were sitting by her, both of them glaring at each other. Alec, Felix, and Demetri were off hunting and the Cullens were out for the day.

Rosalie said to Jane, "Ok, so it may be your fault that Jacquelyn was raped, but does that mean you should be hovering over her?"

Jane said in turn, "And since she's pregnant, why do YOU have to hover over her?"

Rosalie said, "Well, why should you care about Jacquelyn? You're just Aro's bitch!"

Jane growled and stood up. "I'm nobody's bitch, you Great bastard child of a kooky wombat-brained orc! In fact, I believe that you want to take her baby and claim it as your own! Seeing as you don't have children, or no baby would ever want you as its mother to begin with!"

Rosalie grew angry, but Jane continued, "And what about that Emmett, hmmm? I bet you changed him because he reminded you of some old friend's baby...disgusting!"

Little did they know that Seth had been in the house and he overheard the whole thing. He phased and ran off to find Emmett.

Rosalie snapped, "You take that back!"

"No!" Jane yelled. "I'm done being nice to you! You have been nothing more than a thorn in my side for the past few weeks, and I'm getting real sick of your attitude! In fact, I think I will go tell everyone that you you are planning to take Jacquelyn's babies and claim them as your own!"

Rosalie growled and said, "Would I, Janie? Would I?"

Jane lunged at her and the two vampires wrestled on the floor, both trying to tear each other to pieces. Jacquelyn had overheard everything and she wondered was this true? Did Rosalie really want to steal my babies? What about poor Emmett? What would he say if the truth behind how and why he was changed was revealed to him?

She wasn't taking any chances now; she stood up and rushed out the door as fast as she could.

-----------------

FIRST BEACH, LA PUSH

Bella was trying to save herself from the insanity of it all. I should have just taken him back, then dumped him again in front of everyone, she thought to herself as she wandered around the beach.

Presently, Edward came to her and said, "You are not happy."

"No," said Bella, "Henry had to kill his stupid self when I refused to take him back."

Edward frowned, then said, "Sometimes in life, love doesn't always work for everyone. In fact, many people who are together are unhappy because they were unsuited to be in a relationship."

"I should have just taken him back," Bella began.

"And you would never be happy," said Edward. "You can't just give up yourself and be in an unhappy relationship; that has led to divorces and suicides. What you must do is look at yourself and realize that the issue may lie with you."

Bella knew Edward was right; she had spent many years looking after her flighty mother and when she did come to Forks, she always felt out of place. "I'm too mature for everyone here," she said to herself. "I'll never be normal enough for them. Boys need girls, not women."

Edward said, "But when I first met you, you were normal."

"Why do I always have to be the mature one?" Bella sighed.

"You never gave yourself the chance to have fun," said Edward. "Anyone who has been in your shoes can say that their lives were never easy, so much depended on them. But you must learn to let yourself go. You're too young to have this kind of crisis."

Bella sighed and said, "Maybe you're right, Edward. And then again, I must say that what you once had with Tanya was unhealthy and you needed to leave her. She had no right to treat you like this."

Edward said, "And it will get worse if we don't deal with her." He turned his attention to the woods, or where a certain cabin was. "You must go to Jacob's house and stay there tonight. I have a feeling that something very bad is going to happen."

Bella nodded; from what she had heard from Edward, Tanya was a bad seed. But what would happen if she were to meet Tanya?

-----------------------

BUCHAREST, ROMANIA

(Sevreal hours before)

Marcus frowned as he and his guards spoke to Stefan and Vladimir. Vladimir said, "Well, of course we have turned Jamey, Poppy, Pansy, and Peony; we're going to use them to unleash terror upon the vampire world and the Volturi will be blamed."

"You're insane!" Renata cried out in horror.

"But when we recived word of Lucretia's destruction," Stefan said, "we were filled with anger, not to say in the least. She was one of our top allies, and mate to our friend Alexander." Alexander came forth and said to Marcus, "You will suffer the same fate as my Lucretia has if you ally yourself with the Volturi..."

Marcus stood up and said, "I am the Volturi, insolent boy. Now you shall die!" Renata and Santiago pounced on Alexander and tore him to pieces. Marcus said, "We now have prevented you from creating any more immortal children, but bear in mind that we will be destroying you if you dare to step out of line." He tossed the remains of Alexander into the fireplace and Renata burned the remains. They then left the hotel.

-----------------------

THE CABIN

It was now 9:30 PM and neither Charlie nor Riley had eaten anything all day.

They were sitting in the cabin, where they had been for the past 18 hours. Tanya was nowhere to be seen.

Charlie said to Riley, "You think we should make a run for it?"

"If we do," said Riley, "she will find us."

"Or someone else," Charlie said. They stood up and walked towards the door to the cabin.

At the same time, Carlisle had taken Emmett and Jasper off to hunt, making sure that Alec, Demetri, and Felix were following them. But the guards were elsewhere, heading towards a cabin that sat in the woods. The cabin had a human in it, and the boys hadn't eaten a human in weeks.

Emmett said, "Hey, where are you guys going?"

"There's a human here," said Alec. "I can smell it."

"Alec," Carlisle said with a stern look on his face.

"Why wouldn't we pass up this opportunity?" Alec reasoned. He, Felix, and Demetri took off with Emmett following.

When Charlie opened the door to the cabin to make his escape, Alec and the others stopped in their tracks. "Holy crap!" Demetri cried out. "It's a cop!"

"We can't eat cops!" Felix cried out.

Carlisle said, "Charlie Swan, I deem?"

"Yes," said Charlie. "And you better get this one something to eat soon, he's famished."

Riley nearly fainted as soon as he saw the Cullens. Emmett helped him up and said, "I hope you like bears, because that's what's on the menu tonight!"

And as he and Jasper dragged Riley off, Carlisle said, "You might want to come to our house. You look famished. I'll call the police and tell them I found you."

Charlie nodded and they set off towards the Cullen house.

------------------

CULLEN HOUSE

Esme and Alice walked into the house and gasped in horror as they saw part of the living room damaged and Jane and Rosalie fighting. Jacquelyn was nowhere to be seen.

Esme cried out, "What is going on here, you two? Where's Jacquelyn?"

"She ran off because of what Jane said," said Seth. "She said that Rosalie was planning to take Jacquelyn's babies. Jane even said that Rosalie changed Emmett because he reminded her of some friend's baby!"

Just then, they heard the sound of a Jeep taking off. "Emmett, come back!" Jasper was heard yelling.

Carlisle frowned as he and Charlie walked into the house; Jacquelyn was gone and Emmett had just abandoned the family. Things were falling apart and Rosalie seemed to be at fault.

Jane said, "Forget what you said about respecting Rosalie; she's not even worth being a Cullen! When Caius finds out about this, he'll have you executed!"

"I don't care!" Rosalie snapped.

"You better," said Alec. "With Jacquelyn running around, anyone will find out about her and tell Aro. You're finished now, Rosalie Hale."

---------------------

LA PUSH - THE HARBOR

Jacquelyn looked around her as she wandered the harbor. She was unsure of where to go, but she needed to leave this place tonight.

Emmett saw her and said, "Come on, we're heading to Seattle."

"Where's Rosalie?" Jacquelyn cried out.

Emmett sighed and said, "She's not coming with us."

Harry Clearwater spotted them and said, "Why are you here? Do you know that it is unsafe for a woman with her condition to be out at night?"

"I'll look after her," Emmett offered.

"But still, I'd rather get her to a safe place," said Harry. "We don't know who else could be out there who might want to harm her."

As the confrontation between Harry and Emmett continued, Viko watched from the sidelines. He wasn't too happy about seeing poor Jacquelyn's new condition. Vampires and werewolves fighting over her future and she wasn't allowed to have her say in it.

Viko thought maybe if we brought her back to the Pirate Jet, things will be better for her. We'll make those three vampire jerks sorry they ever hurt her in the first place!

Namard yelled out, "Viko, you waste of space! What is keeping you? We be sailing in the morning! Captain Churnkins is not patient!"

"Namard, you be bursting a blood vessel if you keep yelling at the boy!" Churnkins snapped as he approached them. "Now what's this that you be yelling at him about?"

"It's the little one," said Viko. "I've found her. But she not be the same one we know. She's changed."

"If it be her that you found," Churnkins said, "then we be having a word with those vampires. They have no right to be harming her."

"Captain Churnkins?" Jacquelyn cried out. They all stared at her.

Her Final Days, Chapter 16

2011-08-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

"Grandma? Grandma, please wake up." The voice of Jill Durham brought Rosalie back. Rosalie found herself sitting in her room at the nursing home, with a picture of Ephraim Black on her lap.

Rosalie looked at Jill and said, "Was I asleep?"

"No, but you looked it," said Jill. "Anyway, I'm off to work. Little Emmett is in the waiting area; don't let him get too overstimulated." she walked out the door before Rosalie could get another word in.

***

Nathaniel frowned as his mother made him drink soup and lie down. Nadia said to him, "It is the thing I have feared. No one in the Swan family has the power to phase."

"And even then, the Swans are not Quileutes," said Darius.

Charlie frowned, knowing what was happening. even though he didn't know all the details of the Quileutes' history, he knew that Nate would be transforming into a giant wolf.

And for some reason, the thought of that left him quite unsettled.

***

Embry stood up and saw Quil. Quil said, "We have to leave now; the wives are getting restless."

"I have no wife," said Embry. "Remember, Alisa died 16 years ago."

"Right," said Quil. "But anyway, Sam just received word of a possible new Wolf. We are unsure of who it might be, so we're going to go look for him. You, Seth, and Brady are to stay at the Cullen house and inform the Cullens of our progress."

Embry nodded and he and Jacquelyn walked back to the Cullen house, where Seth, Brady, and the other Cullens were meeting. Ezra and Carter were distracted by a video game and Elena was thumbing through a fashion magazine.

Emmett said, "Sam is asking for Ezra to join him next week."

Jacquelyn said, "Ezra may join Sam after Sam apologizes for the way he treated me." Embry nodded and both headed to Jacquelyn's room.

***

Jill frowned as she poured some drinks for a wealthy patron. The club she worked at was swarming with people who had better lives than her.

As if they didn't have to deal with young women who ran away from home after being raped and knocked up by someone who didn't like them.

Jill pushed the thought away and went to serve another customer when she heard a voice: "Go back to your grandmother."

"Silly," Jill frowned as she poured the drink and handed the glass to the woman.

The voice continued, "Jill Arathea Durham, you are the descendant of Rosalie Hale. Why are you here?"

"You OK, Indian Princess?" a man said to her.

"I'm hearing things," Jill cried as the voice said, "And yet you are in a place where they do not respect you. You must leave now."

"Who are you?" Jill yelled to no one in particular.

"My name is Ephraim Black."

The True History of the Cullen Family, Chapter 4

2011-08-15T10:25:00.000-07:00

Somewhere Out There

Jacquelyn found herself running down the street. She was not about to become someone else's victim.

Not when she could escape just as easily as an intruder can enter a house.

After the death of her foster mother, Jacquelyn found herself staring at a grave. The woman's other children, all older than her, frowned as the priest had read the final rites. There was nothing else for them to look forward to, except life on the streets.

But the man who the woman had been dating at the time of her death would not allow the children to grow up so fast, not when he had the means to support them. But he took one good look at Jacquelyn Ulrich, and then it was like he held resentment towards the younger girl. She was an orphan who had no business tainting the family with her "impurities".

He decided that the girl had to be removed from the family.

But Jacquelyn was quicker than him; the minute he turned a hateful glare on her, she immediately realized that she needed to leave.

After walking away from the only other house that she had known, she turned back and smiled grimly as the cruel man went into a fit of rage upon discovering that she was not in her room.

Jacquelyn slipped on a pair of dark sunglasses and walked down to a bus station, where she boarded a bus that would take her far away from the village she grew up in. She refused to look back (because she had nothing to look back on) but she had to keep going forward.

After all, her future was set in stone, even if she did not know it yet.

*********************

Jasper returned to his quarters in the Volturi Castle, after having completed another night of "light snacking". Alec, Demetri, and Felix had enjoyed themselves even though Jane thought the snacking was unnecessary. To her, vampires were meant to feed from living things, not snack on them.

Jasper looked around his room, wondering what he should do with himself. To the others, he was just a quiet brooding vampire who kept to himself, even though his talent of controlling moods would suggest otherwise. He recalled the number of times he had thrown a wave of calm over a potentially violent situation involving the Volturi, or calmed the hordes of tourists who came to the castle not knowing that they were going to be devoured.

"I need a pet," he complained to the others that night. "Someone who will obey me."

"Like a human pet?" Jane laughed.

"I need one so badly," said Jasper. "I need a pet to keep in my rooms. You may have your powers, but I need something to play with and none of the young ones in Volterra will do."

"I see," said Jane, "and I will ask Aro to find you a suitable pet. But keep in mind that said pet will have to be turned...eventually."

Jasper nodded. He knew that come hell or high water, he would get his human pet. But the pet he would get would be broken and needed to be fixed.

Not if she couldn't be fixed anyway.

***********************************

Jacquelyn woke up to a strange sight; the hotel where her mother died.

That place had been shut down 8 years earlier, and yet it seemed...dead.

She stood up and began to wander around the place, warily, knowing that the snake that had killed her mother was still on the loose.

Just then, a very tiny grey snake approached her. Jacquelyn wasn't scared of snakes; in fact, she recalled Gus, the friendly python who lived the gardens of her foster family's home.

"Who are you?" she cried out.

"I'm just a snake," said the snake. "My name is Minerva. Gus has told me about you."

"Really?" Jacquelyn said.

"I have heard the story of your mother's death," said Minerva, "for on the same day, my parents were killed by the cobra as well. He killed many animals and people alike and has grown rather unnaturally large at that. The only way he could be defeated is that the daughter of the woman he killed slays him in turn."

"Well, I have never fought a snake before," said Jacquelyn. "Why should I fight him?"

"He murdered your mother," said Minerva, "and he seeks your death as well. You will never be complete until you have avenged your mother and found true love."

Jacquelyn said, "But why the cobra?"

"Do you know the story of the Fall of Man?" Minerva asked. Jacquelyn nodded. "It was Lucifer who had done this. Lucifer was full of pride and he resented mankind. He tricked Eve into eating from the tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil. That act had brought about man's fall and demonized snakes for many years. But not all snakes are bad, just as not all humans are good."

"I'm very sorry to hear that," Jacquelyn said. "I will make sure that snakes regain their place of honor, for God said that one day, snakes will be redeemed and no child will be hurt if it plays with a snake."

Minerva nodded and said, "I have waited for you, because I knew you would come."

Jacquelyn said, "I needed a friend who would truly understand me. I just had to get out and find that friend."

And together, the goth and the snake walked towards the hotel, preparing to face their legacy...

What do we do now?

2011-08-15T08:21:00.000-07:00

BELLA

Bella frowned as she woke up late the next day; she wasn't feeling well and she also was not about to face everyone in the school.

Not after what had happened with Henry the night before.

But in her defense, he had brought it upon himself.

Billy and Harry had called the police and they claimed that Henry had gotten drunk and tried to climb the tree that was in front of Bella's window, but he slipped and fell, resulting in his death.

Even then, the truth of what happened that night could never be revealed, not as far as those three vampires were concerned...

MARCUS

Marcus followed a beautiful woman to a nearby hotel. The hotel was a hotbed for the elite Romanians. How can they live this way while millions starve to death in the streets? Marcus thought to himself as he walked up aflight of stairs to the suite, where he was planning to meet with some vampire informants who had information on the brothers Vladimir and Stefan.

After all, he needed information in order to confront the older vampires about their role in the immortal children's existence.

CAIUS

Athenodora smiled as she put the tiny vampires down for a nap, not that they actually needed naps, but she wanted them out of the way while she spoke to Caius.

Sulpicia smiled as she watched Athenodora leave the tower. She knew her fellow sister was still angry with Caius regarding his treatment of Jacquelyn Cullen and she was not happy to hear that said young vampire was pregnant with her husband's child.

Caius was sitting in his office when his angry wife burst in. She said, "I'm hearing that Miss Jacquelyn could be expecting a son. Is that true?"

Caius said, "I don't believe that Carlisle Cullen has told us anything regarding the child."

"But I hope he goes after you for what you did to his daughter!" Athenodora cried out in anger. "What you have done to Didyme was unforgivable, and even then I could tolerate you. But Jacquelyn was just a young girl when you raped her and you hurt her in so many ways that she cringes in fear whenever you approach her."

"If you knew the truth about her, then you'll know why," Caius shot back. Athenodora stared at him in anger. "Her mother was involved with a werewolf," Caius snapped. "It was already bad enough when those werewolves tried to kill me all those years ago, but knowing what she was and that Carlisle decided to keep her, that was the final straw! I had to punish her for that."

Athenodora said, "But you can't just punish her because her father was a werewolf, Cai. What if her mother never knew that part about him?"

"But still, Jacquelyn...would have been human, and as such, we know the laws, Dora. Humans cannot know that vampires exist. But she did. She needed to be punished for that, and her stubbornness only made me angrier. How can she be like that? Who told her to be so cruel and disrespectful towards us? We rule this world, God damn it!"

Athenodora said, "If I were you, I'd deal with that Rosalie Hale. She seems to be the one who's been feeding Miss Jacquelyn the poison that made her so stubborn. I never liked her and I believe she's wrong for Emmett."

"Are you suggesting that Jacquelyn could be Emmett's true mate?" Caius snapped in anger.

"I was only making a suggestion," Athenodora snapped in anger. "I just want Rosalie out of the picture. Maybe get Emmett another mate." She stared at a portrait of Jacquelyn for a moment and then said, "I really hope it is a daughter for your sake."

She then walked out of the room before Caius could get another word in.

Aro had seen the whole thing and he said to Caius, "Be careful that she does not...harm you. We both may have hurt Jacquelyn, but you'll be paying for it be it a son or a daughter."

Caius said, "Even then, we will have to wonder what is going on with our guards. It's already bad enough that they have to drink only animal blood, but to be...polite is not what our Jane and Alec are. Sometimes I wonder what might have been if they were...nicer."

"Indeed," said Aro. "And yet again, Carlisle will be calling us again, and he'll be angry as usual. I hope he doesn't destroy us some day."

"Me neither," Caius frowned as they braced themselves for that inevitable phone call...

CULLEN HOUSE

Mother Idelle sighed as she took another look at Jacquelyn's rapidly growing belly. She stood up and said, "There are two of them. One has had the power to stop its growth for many years, but that power has waned. Now they are both trying to grow quickly, even quicker than expected."

The Wolves frowned as they stared at the young vampire, all knowing that they must find out who she is, before it was too late for all of them...

CHARLIE

While Bella was beginning the fight to save her sanity, Charlie found himself trapped in a cabin. Which was where Riley Biers was.

"Riley?" He cried out.

"That bitch stuck me in here!" Riley cried out in anger. "So help me God, I will destroy her! She'll never escape what's coming to her!"

Charlie frowned as he listened to Riley's rant. After reporting his location, he settled down to wait this out.

It was going to be a long day for him...

The Twilight Wedding Day Blog Post Extravaganza

2011-08-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Cover via AmazonJacob: Hello, and welcome to the Twilight Wedding Day Blog Post Extravaganza!! I'm going to be telling you all about what happened on the day that Edward and Bella got married.

Seth: And also, did you know Jacob was caught making out with some random girl at the reception?

Leah: And I thought you cared about Bella!

Jacob: Why you guys so mean?

Leah: Shut it, Jake!

Seth: Anyway, here's what happened at the wedding:

-----

BREAKING DAWN WEDDING

Leah: Wasn't that a great wedding?

Jacob: Too bad Bella's going to become a bloodsucker's wife. She should have chosen me; I could have given her so much more.

Leah: Get over yourself, Jake. Bella never would have chosen you; she just wanted you as a friend. Or would you like me to tell you what Seth saw?

Jacob: What?

Leah: Seth told me you decided to trick Bella into kissing you in order to stop you from killing yourself.

Jacob: So what? I wasn't going to let her just run off and marry that stupid Edward!

Leah: Grow up, Jacob! You can't just force a girl to like you. If Bella had liked you, then you wouldn't be acting stupid, now would you? And if Edward were in your position, he'd let her choose whoever she wanted. So shut up and give up.

Embry: Oh-ho, BURN!!

Jacob: At least I'm not a bastard child.

Embry: WHAT DID YOU SAY???

BBella: Jae! Were you trying to skip out on my wedding?

Jacob: Bella, are you and Edward going to have kids?

Charlie: Well, are you?

Edward: I hope not.

Esme: Why not?

Edward: I don't know if I would be a good father.

Carlisle: But I am a good father, Edward. And I know for sure that you and Bella would be great parents.

Billy: We must see what your kid looks like. All in favor of an Edward-Bella baby?

Crowd: (cheers)

Bella: Jacob, if you mess this up like you did in the book, I won't hesitate to beat you up.

Sam: And we're not going to help you this time, Jake.

Leah: Yeah, so no imprinting on the kid or I'll destroy you and beg her forgiveness later.

Seth: Yup, so you better shut up and let nature take its course.

-----

Jacob: Well, we can't describe to you the honeymoon or the hot bedroom scenes; Sue would kill me if Seth saw the video, but anyway, here's the real story about what happened in Breaking Dawn...

-----

CULLEN HOUSE

Bella: I'm tired, I'm depressed, and I feel so...FAT!!! (bursts into tears)

Rosalie: Don't worry, I'm sure it will end well for you.

Bella: Shut up, you disgusting blond bimbo! I can't believe you doomed Emmett to a life of vampirism just because he reminded you of little Henry! That's disgusting!

Leah: Yeah, tell her, Bella!

Bella: And when that baby is born, I want you OUT of here! (Charlie shows up)

Charlie: Hi Bells. What's new?

Bella: I'm fatter than Aunt Faye, that's wassup!

Charlie: Don't feel too bad, Bella.

Bella: Really? (just then, she goes into labor) Edward? I think the baby's coming!

Edward: Indeed. Somebody find Carlisle; we've got to seal off the house and make sure that any witnesses don't throw up. (Carlisle shows up and they rush Bella to the back of the house)

Charlie: Is she going to be OK?

Billy: Let's hope so.

-----

Jacob: Well, let's just say that this part will cause some people to snicker...

Seth: But what about Renesmee?

Leah: Don't worry, she'll be in the story as well.

-----

(Carlisle walks into the living room, where Cullens and Quileutes alike have gathered)

Charlie: So, what's the damage?

Carlisle: It's a girl...and a boy. Bella is doing fine. (all breathe sighs of relief) Would you like to see her now?

Charlie: Yes, we would. (the group gets up and walks into the room where Bella and the babies are)

Seth: Awwww, they're so cute!!

Paul: You think all tiny things are cute.

Seth: Shut up, Paul!

Jacob: (stares at baby Renesmee) Well, the good news is, they're not dangerous.

Sam: But the bad news is, you just imprinted on the girl.

Jacob: Oh come on! Really?

Leah: Well, way to go, Jakey! You managed to eff up the story! Again! (stares at Edward junior)

Edward: His name is Edward junior and he thinks you're very pretty.

Leah: Huh? (just then, the gravity of the situation hits her) Oh no! I imprinted on Bella's baby!

Bella: (glares at everyone) Jacob? Leah? I'm going to kick your asses!!

----

Jacob: And that's the story. Thanks for coming to the extravaganza.

Leah: Now if you'll excuse us, we need to run away before Bella kicks both our butts! (they flee, leaving Seth behind)

Seth: This is unfair, guys! I'm not taking the blame for your screw-ups!

The True History of the Cullen Family, chapter 3

2011-07-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

Sweet Dreams Are Made of These

Jacquelyn Claire Alexandra Ulrich hated her new life.

Since her mother's death, the other kids did not like her, nor did they treat her well. She was much shorter than her classmates and spoke Italian with an odd accent. she also dressed in black and tore up every doll she was given, preferring to restyle them in a way she saw fit.

Jacquelyn became interested in the goth subculture when she was just 10 years old. She dyed her dark hair a bright yellow color with blue, purple, and silver streaks in various places, painted her fingernails and toenails black, switched her pretty dresses with dark clothing, and even got the tops of her ears pierced.

Her foster family did not understand her, and all the other kids thought her strange. They even claimed that Jacquelyn was possessed by a spirit that intended to steal her soul and claim it for herself. In fact, she was forced into therapy several times from the time she was 11 until she was 14 years old.

But therapy did her no good, as the therapist claimed that she may have been abused as a young child. In truth, Jacquelyn was suffering the ill effects of her mother's demise.

Irina Ulrich had been living with her daughter in a hotel that resembled the Garden of Eden. And as we all know, paradise on earth can be wonderful, but we must also beware of the snakes that lurk in the shadows. Irina had been bitten in the heel by a king cobra and died soon after. Jacquelyn was 7 years old when that happened.

Since Irina's death, the Italian government ordered the hotel to be shut down and had the owners arrested for murder for their role in Irina's death. Jacquelyn was placed in a foster home shortly after her mother's funeral.

But now Jacquelyn was 15 years old and had just begun her latest obsession with vampires. Vampires were real, she reasoned, and they're not monsters. Bram Stoker got that one wrong.

She had read "Interview With a Vampire" by Anne Rice, and hungered for more. She wasn't too impressed with L. J. Smith's "The Vampire Diaries" and several other vampire series failed to give her the edge that she needed.

Jacquelyn stared at a picture of Christopher Lee as Count Dracula and concluded that it was time for her to sneak out of the house and find some answers to her questions.

**********

Jasper Whitlock frowned as he tossed away the remnants of his meal, which was a frightened tourist from Belgium.

He really needed to stop eating people, as his ability to read their moods was starting to affect his thinking. He was wondering why he was recruited by the Volturi instead of just staying with Peter and Charlotte in America.

America.

He had not seen his homeland in over 100 years, nor did he hear anything about Texas. Texas, the place where he was born and raised.

That was, until Maria and her sisters Lucy and Nettie had found him one night and captured him for the Southern Vampire Wars.

For the next 10 years, war was what Jasper had known. War and death. The deaths of many innocents weighed heavily upon him and when the Volturi showed up, offering him a position in their inner circle, Jasper had taken it without hesitation.

But now, 100 years after his turning, Jasper Whitlock hungered for excitement. He needed a little human to keep as a pet. But of all the young humans living in Volterra, none suited his interests.

Until he met her, that was.

-----------------

Jacquelyn sighed as she packed as many of her possessions as she could fit into a bag. She was leaving home tonight. She slipped on a black shirt and skinny black jeans. After slipping on her black leather boots, she walked out the door, never to return.

Jasper walked out the door with Felix, Alec, Jane, and Dimitri. All five frequently scoured the underground clubs for any potential light snacks, in which they drank from the victim without killing or turning said victim.

Thus began the meeting that would bring two unusual people together...

The True History of the Cullen Family, chapter 2

2011-07-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

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And when Carlisle died, the following events didn’t happen…

Because Carlisle died, he never got to save Edward Masen from certain death in 1918. Instead, the servants who worked for the Masen family all wept for the brave young man who dreamed of becoming a concert pianist, but would never have a chance to make his dreams come true.
Because Carlisle died, he never got to meet Esme Platt Evensen, nor did he save her after she jumped off a cliff and died in 1921. Instead, Esme was brutally murdered by her husband, Charles, in 1920. Charles was arrested for his wife’s murder and executed in 1922.
Because Carlisle died, he never got to rescue Rosalie Hale when she was raped and murdered in 1933. Everyone in Rochester, New York was horrified when they discovered that the beautiful bride-to-be was dead. But an African-American named Benjamin Jones had witnessed Royce King II and his friends raping Rosalie and informed the police, which led to the men being arrested and sent to Sing Sing Prison for the rest of their lives.
Because Carlisle died, he never got to save Emmett McCarty when he was attacked by a bear in 1933. In fact, Emmett’s oldest brother had banished him from the family home in anger, and the younger McCarty boy went for a walk in the woods. A young woman saw the attack and killed the bear. But Emmett would never walk in the woods again, for he was dead.
Because Carlisle died, he never got to meet Alice Brandon and jasper Whitlock when they showed up at the Cullen house in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in the 1940’s. In 1918, Mary Alice Brandon was not committed to a mental hospital in her hometown of Biloxi, Mississippi. In fact, she was killed when her family hired an exorcist to get rid of her “visions.” But as for Jasper, however, he had ran away from Maria’s army during the mid-1860’s and never looked back. His part in this story will be revealed later.
Because Carlisle died, he never got to meet Bella Swan when she moved to Forks, Washington. Bella never got to meet Edward Cullen because he never existed. She ended up marrying Mike Newton after graduating from high school.
Because Carlisle died, he never got to meet Jacquelyn Claire Ulrich, nor did he get to meet her mother, Irene. Both mother and daughter had moved to Italy when Jacquelyn was 2 years old following a threat from Irene’s former fiancé, Warren Limpett. Irene soon fell into the wrong crowd and ended up dying in the lobby of a ritzy hotel when she was 27 years old. Her 7-year-old daughter, Jacquelyn, was made a ward of a rich family, a family she ran away from when she was 15 years old.

Jasper Whitlock and Jacquelyn Claire Ulrich were two people living in a messed-up world. But when they met one fun night, things were going to change forever…

Your Stupidity Can Kill You

2011-07-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

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"Anyway, I have to get back," said Jacob, "but I'll swing by your place tonight." He took off as Bella watched with a strange look on her face. Little did she know that Lacie, Bruce, and Wayne Cullen were watching her...

Bella turned behind her and gasped as she saw three young vampires. Lacie said to her, “So you’re Bella Swan, aren’t you?”

“Well,” said Bella.

“I saw you fighting with that Henry boy,” said Bruce. “Want me to rip his head off?”

“Bruce,” said Wayne, “we can’t go ripping people’s heads off. Carlisle won’t like that at all.”

Lacie said, “Do you want to hang out with us?”

Bella sighed; she could use a break from Henry. And she could meet the Cullen family as well.

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BUCHAREST, ROMANIA

Marcus smiled grimly as a man told him about Vlad and Stefan's plans to regain the control of the vampire world. By using very tiny children, they could unleash terror upon the human world and blame the Volturi.

Aro was sitting in the main room when a call came. “Marcus,” he said, “what is this important thing must you tell me?”

“Aro, Vlad and Stefan are trying to raise an army of immortal children,” said Marcus in fear.

“I see,” said Caius. “Have they found out about the child?”

“Thankfully no,” said Marcus, “but it may not be a secret for very long.”

Caius tugged his hair nervously; he knew that if they found out about his baby, Jacquelyn was in grave danger…

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THE NOMADS

James, Laurent, and Victoria laughed as they crashed a high school party. There were scores of drunk students there, and none of them knew that their guests were vampires. James said, “Is it just me, or do these humans live like they don’t have to die?”

“They have lives and we don’t,” said Laurent. “I’m 300 years old. I have never really lived.”

“I know,” said James. “But let’s pretend for just a moment that we are teenagers.”

Victoria sighed as she stood by the tree in front of Bella’s house. The girl was inside doing homework. But a boy was there as well. Victoria screamed in horror as Henry wrapped an arm around her and threw a rock into the windshield of Bella’s truck.

Bella heard the screaming and saw Henry standing outside her house. “Henry, what the hell do you want?” she screamed.

“Get back with me or I’ll kill this girl!” Henry yelled.

Victoria screamed, “Help me! Help me please!”

“Shut up, bitch!” Henry screamed as he threw Victoria to the ground.

Bella snapped. “You’re dead now, Henry Johnstone! Karma is a bitch and she does not like you! And neither do I!” She lunged at Henry and knocked him over, punching and kicking him as if her life depended on it. “I’m going to kill you now!”

“Not if I kill you first,” Henry snapped as he began to choke Bella.

Just then, James and Laurent lunged at Henry and pulled him off Bella. Victoria stared up and she saw her boyfriend and best friend slamming Henry into the truck and killing him. “No one hurts any woman and lives!” James snapped.

“Payback is a bitch,” Bella said as she stood up and massaged her neck. She stared at the dead boy on her truck and said to herself, “Good riddance.” She thought about Wendell and how he left Forks after their encounter. He was smart to leave while he still could.

She wondered what Billy and Jacob were going to say when they found out about the damaged truck.

James said to her, “Was that your truck?”

“Sorry,” said Laurent.

That's OK,” said Bella. “He deserved what he got.” She stared at Victoria and said, “Are you all right? I’m sorry you had to go through that. Love is evil.”

“Don’t worry about me,” said Victoria. “I am stronger than I look.” She stood up and said, “You don’t need him; you deserve a man who would treat you right. Like my friend Laurent here.”

“Vick, please don’t,” said Laurent.

Just then, Billy and Harry rushed over to Bella, saying, “Are you all right, dear?”

“I’m fine,” said Bella.

Billy stared at his old truck and said, “Oh that poor boy. You broke his heart and you broke it hard. But that’s what happens when you fall in love.” Bella stared at him. “I’ll have Jake fix it in the morning.”

Harry said, “Want us to sit with you tonight? You’ve had quite a scare.”

“Sure,” said Bella as she stood up and went to let the men into the house. Before she went in herself, she said to the nomads, “And thanks for saving me.”

James nodded, then he took Laurent and Victoria and walked off as Billy began to call the police.

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CHARLIE

Charlie Swan was on the prowl for a young man named Riley Biers. His parents had been killed and he was snatched from his home by an unknown assailant. Charlie and several others were on the hunt for the kidnapper when a hand suddenly snatched him. Charlie screamed in horror as he was being carried off…